As I am coming near giving birth I thought why not I write on motherhood which is an essential part nearly all women go through. Before anyone asks yes there will be updates on the current Dublin Sisters books but I have been very busy. So let's focus on motherhood for now...
Allah has made women and girls with the motherly instinct. We see that when a young girl is playing with her doll, she would feed her, change her clothes and even sing her lullaby so that the doll can sleep. A boy would hardly do all this. This is why many times one of the biggest desires after marriage (for Muslim women at least) is to have children.
However, motherhood is not easy as it seems in movies or books. It's not only about few morning sickness and then a baby bump but much more. Every day a woman goes through so much during these nine months where according to Irish people the bun is baking in the oven. When I had heard first heard this term I had laughed a lot. But it is true as the baby develops in a woman's womb, there are not only physically changes but more emotional and psychological changes. Many women end up with mood swings or even depression. But these are all common signs of pregnancy. And poor husbands have to bear the brunt of it all whether the wife is getting angry easily or crying for no reason.
Then comes the cravings. Well to be honest, I think what they show in movies, television shows and books of irresistible cravings in the middle of the night are bluff. I am not saying we don't get cravings, yes we do but you can easily evade or even control your cravings. I have been able to control cravings in nearly all of my pregnancies... at least those ridiculous ones which I know I couldn't get instant exotic food in front of me.
Throughout pregnancy a woman keeps wondering what she will have. Ultrasound and scans give very accurate predictions as to what gender the baby would be BUT there can be mistakes and most of all in some countries like India it is ban to ask the gender. So we resort to old wife's tales and you know what I again think many are bluff. For my last two pregnancies I never was able to find out the gender of the baby so it was all a guessing game and I had searched all kinds of old wife's tales to find out what I am having. Believe me till last minute I was undecided and I was surprised both times. For this one let's see...
The first few months are hard as the pregnancy is not evident physically but changes are occurring whether it is extreme fatigue or just nausea but it is there. People around the pregnant woman may not understand but she is going through a lot. At times like this be patient and remember Allah and inshaa Allah He will ease all difficulties.
The second trimester is some what better and the woman enjoys the newly growing baby bump. Its an exciting period of time where the woman starts to visibly show as a pregnant woman and most of all able to feel the baby for the first. That feeling cannot be expressed at all – a unique connection only between the mother and baby. It starts with fluttering almost likes tickling and then as the baby grows it becomes more like kicks.
The last trimester... gosh I think that is the most difficult. The woman becomes so big even changing sides on bed is a chore. Changing positions from sitting to standing takes ages. The woman waddles like a duck and she is just....TIRED and FED UP. Her back hurts, her feet are swollen and she is literally counting days when the baby is coming out.
There are so many emotions, first there is excitement to finally meet the baby that you have been carrying for nine months but there is also dread of the labour and all that goes through. Believe me, first time mothers have no idea what will be hitting them ... its like a tsunami – attacking in the most unexpected way.
In the end, it is all worth it. When you hold your bundle of joy for the first time. That first smile, that first clutching of your finger and when you nurse the baby that skin to skin connection. Nothing can replace that.
May Allah bless all married women with children who become a means of sadqa jariya for them and most of all may Allah ease the pains and aches of pregnant women and young mothers during this tough motherhood period. Ameen.
Next update will be on labour – OUCH!
