Holding on to you

Secrets are revealed

"How hard can it be to find one guy!"

The way he yelled into the phone cause me to jump out of my skin, it was times like this that I'm reminded of the type of person Killian is. I watch as a ray of different emotions take over his face, I was about to turn and walk away, not wanting to see or hear anymore, when Killian said something that caught my attention.

"Find the motherf**ker, he's gonna learn that there are consequences for touching what is mine!"

I stared at him, I almost forgot all about that Noah incident, but it seems like Killian hasn't. When he hanged up we just stared at each other, his eyes bore into mine and I stood there trying not to squirm.

"I thought that he was you, it was dark and I was scared and when I felt his arms around me, I thought that it was you."

My eyes never left him as I spoke as calmly as possible, and I could see that what I said pissed him off because he specifically told me never to mention it again. He took a step closer to me, and my instinct told me to run, but I held my ground. He needed to stop being stubborn and listen to what really happened that night.

"Shut up, Red."

I ignored him and continued, "Why is it so hard for you to trust me, to believe that I'd never cheat on you? I love you, Killian."

He pounced on me so fast that I didn't even have time to react. I didn't even know that I'd move until I felt the sharp pain of my back being pushed hard against the wall.

I've come a long way with Killian, so I've grown used to his manhandling of me. It doesn't normally scare me anymore, but with the way he was looking at me, I felt my fear raise up from whatever deep part of my mind that I buried it, attacking me like a starving lion hunting its prey.

However, I tried my best to keep it contained, I promised myself that I won't be intimidated by him anymore. The one thing Killian couldn't hide was his lust for me, or the fire that blazed in his eyes as they devoured my body.

It doesn't matter how upset, angry or furious he was, his eyes always showed how much he wants me. However, apart from the lust, there was also the possessive element, it showed in the way his eyes would linger on a certain part of my body, and his nostril would flare just slightly and his eyes would take on this crazed, wild look.

I could see that he wanted to touch every part of my body, but he restrained himself, clenching and unclenching his fist.

"I said to shut the f**k up!"

I tried my best not to flinch, my head was held high as I faced him head on, even though, my entire being wanted to run for cover.

"What the hell are you so afraid of?! Deep down I know that you believe me, but for whatever reason, you're being a damn stubborn mule about it! God, Killian, I'm not your mother, I'm not gonna die or disappear on you! I'm staying right here, and I'm gonna keep on loving you no matter how hard you try to push me away or fight it. I LOVE YOU, so get over it!!"

By the time that I was finish, I was breathing hard and tired of the entire argument. I felt myself deflated, and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to clear my thoughts.

When I opened them up back, Killian was still looking at me with lust and possession clouding his eyes, but there was something else there as well...acceptance.

He leaned forward, resting his head on mine. Closing my eyes, I then wrapped my hands around his waist, holding him tight. He sighed, and it sounded so defeated that I couldn't help but pull him closer.

However, I was still curious to know why he didn't want to be loved? Everyone wanted to be loved, but with Killian it's different. He acts like you've offended him by loving, like you're giving him a deadly disease instead of your heart. What kind of childhood did he have to made him act that way?