Conversion Academy [boyxboy]

Conversion Academy {21}

I sat leaning against a tree, contemplating my horrible life. Sure, the decision Constance had given me should be easy. I should pick Kaz. My parents had abandoned me, after all.

But they were still my parents.

If I chose Kaz, then I never had a chance of fixing things with my parents. If I chose my parents, then I had a chance. Maybe they'd even be proud that I'd picked them over a boy. Maybe I'd earn some of their acceptance back.

I could remember the way my mom used to hug me every day before I left for school. I'd bitched and moaned back then about how annoying it was, but now I'd give anything for another hug from her. I was desperate to have my family back the way it had always been. I'd ruined us.

I buried my face in my hands, feeling my emotions rush up on me. I didn't mean to break my family. I didn't mean to hurt my parents. I didn't mean for any of this to happen.

They were disappointed in me. They were heart-broken by me. By who I was.

I could hide my sexuality again and win my family back. I could pretend to be straight if it meant I got their love back.

I just couldn't keep going on without my mom and dad.

I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked myself, squeezing my eyes shut. I felt a tear leak down my cheek and I hid my face against my knees.

I missed my family. I missed my family. I missed my family.

"Killian?"

I picked my head up and wiped at my eyes hastily. Beckett watched me as he played with his yo-yo.

"Why are you hiding out here?" he asked.

"Because I'm trying to cry and have a mental breakdown in peace!" I said.

"Get up. We're going back to the dorm," he said.

I wiped my eyes one last time before getting up. I walked over to Beckett, not wanting to be alone but not wanting to be surrounded by people, either. Beckett wasn't someone who would baby me, though, and maybe I needed that right now.

We walked in silence for a little. Beckett was in his uniform, his backpack lazily hanging off of his shoulders. He kept playing with his yo-yo as he walked.

"Why aren't you with the others?" I asked.

Beckett shrugged. "I had to go to the library to finish a project. Why were you crying?"

I glared at him. "Listen here kid, big girls don't cry but emotionally distraught Killians do."

"What do you have to cry over?" he asked, and I could hear the bitter tone to his voice. "You have Kaz watching your ass- and I say that with double meaning."

"Okay, well, that's the problem. I got sent to Constance because of the ways he watches my ass," I said. "What, do you have a crush on him?"

Beckett glared at me. "I like girls. What did Constance say?"

"I have to choose between Kaz and my family," I mumbled, dropping my gaze.

"Choose Kaz," Beckett said. "Your family put you here. You can't choose the family you get stuck with. But if you choose to keep sticking with them, you have no one to blame but yourself when they keep hurting you. Kaz makes mistakes, but he doesn't hurt his friends if he can help it."