Dating Abuse RED FLAGS

RED FLAGS

Okay, so I have been reading a story on here where this girl is ignoring so many red flags and it is kinda ticking me off, I mean, I get it for the story, but still. I just wanted to point these things out because they have been drilled into my head and I'm a worrywart, and because I'm the oldest sibling, I get what I call a "Big Sissy" complex where I want to protect everyone. Probably a bad thing because of the stress it causes, but oh well. Anyway, so here are some red flags, and if more than one pops up in your relationship, talk to someone and run the fudge away asap. I mean it.

This would be from a girl's point of view with a guy as a significant other, because that is what I most relate to, although this list could definitely work for guys too, no one wants to be dating a mentally ill person who stalks them or tries to kill them or some crap like that. It works both ways. This is what I am trying to prevent by writing this. And don't say that doesn't happen. Read the news.

-"Possessiveness"- It isn't cute. If he is trying to tell you that you can't talk to other guys or you have to stop being friends with them, or even talk to any male human, that guy has problems.

-Telling you what to do- This is a sign of control. Absolute control. It is like letting him become the dictator of the communist country that is now you. He controls what you do, what you wear, who you talk to, where you go, this is a warning that you will no longer be allowed to be you. Don't let it happen, he could also guilt you into it with something like, 'If you loved me, then you would do this/ let me do this'

-Not being considerate-If you are uncomfortable with something and he won't back off and cool down, this is a sign that he doesn't respect you. At all. Dump his sorry butt.

-Lack of trust- If he is always constantly asking you if you were with another guy or if there is something between you and another guy even though there isn't and you let him know that, he probably has extreme trust issues which might lead to abuse, so be careful as fudge. If he talks to you about it, you need to figure out how to handle the situation, the best answer may be to break up if he can't even trust you a little bit.

-Not letting you visit family/ friends- This is a HUGE no-no he is keeping you from seeing YOUR family and YOUR friends over extended periods of time when you finally get a chance, and probably going to visit his almost constantly. He is taking away YOUR right to see the people YOU LOVE. Not okay. Not okay at all.

-Your family and friends don't like him, and he doesn't like them- If this is true, they probably told you to stay away from him a countless amount of times, and you brushed off every-single-fudging-thing they said about him because you thought he was better than that. You are also probably in denial of any other red flags that may be showing. Please be careful. And dogdammit, listen to what your family and friends have to say, it may be important.

-Stalker-ish tendencies/ obsession- If he is always asking you where you are all the time and always wants to know where you are and who you are with, this is bad. It is even worse if he somehow knows without you telling him or he repeatedly shows up at a place you thought he didn't know you were at. Sometimes this can be confused with the guy just casually wanting to know what you are up to. Other times, that is the mask he puts on to keep his tabs on you, again, in an abusive relationship they want control, power. This is how they get it.

-Demeaning you- Calling you names that aren't sweet nicknames he picked out for you out of love, but names that you would expect bullies to call their victims at recess in the play yard because they like the sense of power it gives them to make someone else cry. He might also imply that you are not as intelligent or as powerful or just a good person as he, he will always be better than you, and because you are so awful, no one else will take you. He is trying to make you feel worthless and like a burden so you 1, don't leave him and 2, will be putty in his hands. It is all about the control and manipulation.

-Hitting you- Obviously this is a sign that you need to get out, NOW. This is NOT acceptable or normal in ANY way whatsoever. Get out of there NOW.

-Blaming you for things that don't make sense- Trying to make you feel bad and that you are the one at fault for everything and anything possible, if he thinks he can get away with it, he sure as heck is going to try.

I realize this is not all of them, if you guys can think of more, please put it in the comments or PM me so I can put it in, this is important.

Most of the people who do this have problems, and this is how they think they solve them, by hurting someone else. They probably don't realize that they are being abusive, but once these signs are there, there is no simple talking that is going to save them or you. Get yourself safe, and then you can try to find them help. Take care, all of you. And feel free to copy this or something if you feel the need to get the word out to help someone that is what this is for.

And anyone who needs to talk to someone about this, or any-other similar thing, I'm here. I'll listen. And if you need comfort or advice I'm willing to give it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Remember that. Someone loves you out there in this little big world. And if they don't then they either haven't been given the chance yet, or they have no fudging clue what they are missing.

I'll be editing this chapter probably as I get more notes and information. I love you all!! (See, someone loves you! And I probably have never met you, but I love you because you deserve to have love. Actual love.)

And if you are some donkey-butted fudging snicker-popping son of a nutcracker who has done this to someone, well, I really hope 1,we can make a different kind of NUTcracker, and 2, I hope you go to a therapist or something to talk about your problems because you deserve to be loved, but no one deserves that treatment. Make it so you can treat someone right so they can love you and you can love them back without hurting them. If you love someone, you will want them to be happy. No amount of happiness can exist in those circumstances.

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This was on one of my other story thingys but I thought it deserved to be on its own to help spread the message. This is extremely important.