Dirty little secret

Chapter 2 - The Past

Chapter 2

Lilac's POV

You're probably wondering what was so bad about my past. Well here it is:

-12 years old-

It all started on my 12th birthday. My dad frequently went to the bar, drinking and getting into trouble. His daily visits there got so bad that he would go home and beat my mother. My dad came home, one night, in the middle of the night and yelled at my mom,

"Get down here slut!" He yelled. I guess my mom was in deep sleep because he was shouting really loud.

"Hey! Wake up!" He ran upstairs into their room. I was really scared and concerned to what was happening right now, so I opened my door slightly, so that I could peak through the crack.

There was a silent pause.. A scary silent pause, the pause that you knew that something really bad was going to happen next..

All I heard next was my mother sobbing,

"Get out of this house! You've been drinking again haven't you?!" She yelled. I silently creeped out of my bedroom, clutching onto my teddy bear. I peeked through the door to see what was happening.

"Don't shout at me like that!" My dad yelled with his deep voice. My mom was going to defend herself when suddenly my dad slaps her.

She falls to the floor sobbing loudly, pleading him to stop. Stop coming home drunk. Stop drinking. I see him smirk evilly and grab her hair violently. Without thinking I push the door wide open, tears in my eyes.

"Get away from mommy!" I angrily shout.

My dad booms towards me and pushes me to the floor, while my mom yells to him to leave me alone,

"Don't tell me what to do girly!" He whispers evilly. I can smell the stench of alcohol, it burns my eyes. He aggressively picks me up by my puny arms and pushes me on to my bed. My head hits the wall which leaves my vision blurry. I eyes fall heavy. I black out.

.....

I get woken up, at 1:27am, by my mom kissing my forehead, saying how she's sorry for the mess my dad caused. I open my eyes slightly, so she doesn't know I'm awake, and I see that she has a big bright red mark on both of her cheeks. I could feel tears in my eyes forming. How could he do this? How could he beat my mom and get violent with me cold heartedly?

I don't know how but the feeling got overwhelming, causing me to sleep.

-13 years old-

My dad abusing me got worse. He would beat me and call me worthless and fat and a waste of space.

My mother had no control, whatsoever. Every time she would try to defend either me or herself, she would get punched, slapped, or hurt harder and harder.

The only escape I had was either: school or..self harm..

at school I wouldn't worry about getting beaten or get called worthless. However, whenever I got home, hell would rise up all over again. One day, I ran up to my room after the daily beating I got, and chucked my pencil sharpener, in anger, and it broke. I stared at it, recalling the pshce lesson about depression and different ways to self harm. One was to cut your self.

I picked up the blade that was broken off and headed straight to my bathroom. I hesitantly hover the blade across my wrist. I think back at all the bad memories and how it got worse. I cry furiously, and slice my skin. Although it hurts, I need something to take my mind away from my dad; how much pain he's caused me and my mother. I make a lot more cuts.. Now my wrist is nearly covered in blood. I curl up into a ball on the floor and cry. And cry. And cry.

10 minutes later I get up from the floor. Sniffling, I get tissues to clean up all the blood from the sink, floor and my wrist. I get a bandage and wrap it around my injuries. It's now 9:50pm.

I should get some sleep. I walk back to my bed room and sleep. Hoping to sleep my life away.

//the next day//

I wake up. I wince at the pain on my wrists, I unwrap the bandage and observe my cuts. It's healed; it has scabs over the lined cuts. But around it is a bright red colour. I don't bother with the bandage, cause I don't think it'll bleed. I wear a comfy long-sleeved black jumper and floral skinny jeans. I choose black dr martins to go on my feet. I put on eye liner on and tie my long hair up.

I sneak out of the hell house, skipping breakfast. All I seem to do lately is try to avoid my own father, which by the way, is not working.

I power walk to school. I secretly love school. Its peaceful.

After the 4th lesson, it's lunch. I buy a lettuce and tuna sandwich and water and head to the library. I sit at a table, studying. After 15 minutes later, I feel a little sleepy, I feel someone sit beside me. But I didn't bother looking, I just laid my head on the desk, getting some rest.

My rest didn't last long though. I felt a nudge beside me

"Um, excuse me?" A boy voice asked

I mumbled, letting him know I'm listening.

"Don't know if you know but, I think your arm is bleeding.." He says uncomfortably

My head snaps up almost immediately. I stare at my arm, in disbelief, I look at the little pool of blood around my wrist. Shit. I thought it was healed just enough to stop bleeding. I look at the guy, and shoot straight up to the restrooms, leaving my lunch behind

I sprint in the corridors, I run straight into the girls bathroom and run warm water on my injured wrist. I get a paper towel and wrap it around my wrist, along with a bobble to hold it in place. I should start carrying a first aid kit.

I take a deep breath and walk out of the restroom. I look around the empty corridors only to find the boy who took notice of my bloody wrist.

I ignore him, to avoid any questions. But of course, with bad luck stuck to my back he jogs my way, slowing down once he catches up.

I open the doors that lead outside and, on purpose, close the doors quickly in front of his face.

I sit on a bench, grabbing my headphones, blocking any interactions with anyone. Just when I thought I lost him, the boy sits down next to me and tugs my headphones off.

"What're you doing?" Referring to him, taking my headphones off me.

"What happened to your arm? Why was it bleeding?" He completely ignores my last question, and fiddling with my headphones

"It's none of your business" I snatch the headphones off him. He looks taken back by my sudden bad mood

He sighs and looks into my eyes. He has bright green eyes that are gorgeous.

"Okay, sorry, but I don't mean to pry but.." He shuffles in his space uncomfortably "do you self harm?"

I furrow my eyebrows slightly and keep a straight face.

"No," I lie "even if I did, then what's it to you? I don't even know your nam-"

"Harry," he replies too quickly and holds out his hand for me to shake. "Harry styles" he half smiles.