A Life Wasted

Surrounded

I was either crazy or God had spoken to me. At the time I was sure it was God. I thought it was strange that this would happen, but I was sure this was the case. Today, seventeen years later, I'm still pretty sure that it was God. Of course this is CRAZY and I will accept the label. I'd rather write that the voice was a stress induced hallucination, which it could have been. But I'm determined to be as honest as possible in the telling of my tale, so the truth is that I believed then and now that God was suggesting I not surrender.

Note that the voice didn't actually tell me what to do, but rather suggested that if I was in fact one of His warriors then I wouldn't surrender. I know this is splitting hairs, but my analytical mind has attributed this to God's having given us free will. He didn't actually tell me what to do, only suggested that if I was up to the challenge I wouldn't surrender. Crazy I know, but I accepted the challenge and made the immediate decision not to surrender.

This entire line of logic was problematic in that getting away was impossible. I knew the cops wouldn't simply give up and go away. I gave a brief thought to the idea that if something else of more pressing importance occurred they might leave me for the larger problem. This was the summer of 1999, so I hadn't considered a 911 type disaster, but that was what it would have taken for them to leave me alone. Not having a better plan, I began to walk towards the edge of the woods to see if I could spot a place I could slip out through. At this point they must have gotten tired of waiting because I heard the sound of one of the helicopter's engine spinning up. Before it could lift off the ground I moved away from the tree where they had spotted me before.

The only place to hide was a dead tree that had fallen over a slight indent in the ground. You couldn't call it a hope because it wasn't deep enough to conceal my prone body. It might be enough to hide me from a visual search at night if the searchers lacked a flashlight, but that was about it. There was no way the dead tree would conceal me from someone walking by in the bright morning light and absolutely no way it would shield me from a helicopter equipped with infrared. Yet it was all I could find for cover so I crawled under the dead tree. I was so exposed that what I was doing could hardly be called hiding.

The helicopter went straight to the tree I'd been in before. It only hovered over that spot for a moment before moving out in a circle that grew with each pass. It wasn't long before the second helicopter lifted into the air and flew a slow circle around the woods. The one with the infrared camera settled at one end of the woods and began flying from one side to the other. From my Coast Guard experience, I recognized the helicopter's movement as a grid search. I could only see it when it crossed the center section but it was easy to follow its sound. I briefly considered attempting to run into an area it had already searched as it swept to an opposite end, but discounted the idea. While it was possible to avoid the infrared camera in that manner, with so many cops and such small woods it was likely the officers were entering the trees as the helicopter cleared it. If so I'd likely be shot as I ran towards the row of searchers.

With no other viable option, I laid still and waited for the helicopter to pass over me. At that point it would hold over me for the ground forces to come and root me out.

The search was through so it took some time for the helicopter to pass over me. When it did I looked up through the canopy of trees and had a perfect view of the infrared pod on the front. I was so shocked that it passed over me without stopping that it took a moment for me to register what had happened. There was a second of hope before I realized they must have kept going so I didn't know my new hiding spot had been discovered. It was the only logical conclusion. This would mean that a SWAT team would soon join me. They were locked and loaded, and a little apprehensive about what I would do. Not wanting to be killed where I lay I spread my arms out and opened my hands so they could see that they were empty.