am I selfish? yes, I have to be. every time I look at you, every time I see you, every time I hear you I cant help but want you. I want your beautiful long fingers intertwined in mine, I want that beautifully distant gaze focused on me, not some camera, but on my strange, dark green eyes. I wish I could spend nights with you talking about what lies in the future, how we see the world differently from others, and the dankest of memes. I wish we could spend lazy afternoons writing music, improvisation. with my arms around the guitar and yours around my back, our voices co-existing and dancing together without a single thought of sharp and flat notes. I wish we could spend evenings simply drawing and sketching whatever comes to mind, with nothing but a pad of paper and a black ballpoint pen. I wish we could go on adventures, dashing through the forests thick with animals and trees. chasing the suns rays with nothing but each other and the clothes on our backs, only stopping to snap the occasional picture of the breathtaking view. I wish we could spend hours having small competitions, arm wrestling, meme-making, karaoke battling, races down thin roads - competitions. finally get to see whose the real golden makgay, and maybe even determine whose ego is bigger. I wish we could sneak out at night and prank tourists, chasing each other down streetlight-lit cobble stone roads, laughter ringing out against the steady buzz of cicadas. and most of all jeon jungkook, I wish I could hold you, feel your head resting on my shoulder, mumbling words I didn't bother to try to comprehend. I wish I could gaze up at your soft features, puffy with sleep, and feel consumed with affection. I wish I could feel your arms against the crook of my back, I wish I could feel your steady breathing, and steady heart beating right up against mine. and during the morning hours like these, I'm just about as selfish as they get.
