Silicone Soul

Him.

Don't let him get close to her
Don't let him get close to them
Them being her
Them being the both of them
Them being everyone
Don't let him leave
He will see you are not worth it
Then He will see you are a rock in a world of diamonds
And he is at least a pearl.
Don't slip
Don't lose him
He is the only thing you'll ever get
The only one that will look your way
God damnit
Don't let him go,
No matter how many times he might hurt you
He is the only one who will take the time to hurt you.
If he leaves
Don't look at your phone
He won't be there, nothing will be there except
Empty dating apps and a ticking clock.
Don't let him get close to you
Because it's never your choice how long someone chooses to love you
But that doesn't stop it from
Always.
Fucking.
Hurting.

***

I hadn't written a poem in about a month until I wrote this one. It's inspired by an abusive relationship, not abusive physically but mentally and verbally. I could be having an amazing day but the second I would see him my entire mood would drop. Pull down crop tops I used to be confident in because according to him I always looked pregnant. I had had it with him, I don't know why I stayed for as long as I did but, I left and that's when the depression hit. The thoughts like "he's all you were ever going to get." My mind convinced me that u was lucky to be in a relationship with him because no one else would take me. I was going to take him back but then I went on snapchat and he had already had a new girl who was one of the girls I knew. If you know me personally you know I can only take so much. I blocked him on everything, wrote this poem and got myself back together.

** Long story short:

I didn't deserve any of the shit he put me through. He wasn't loyal and once I was out of the relationship I could see that. You have to let toxic people in your life go. I'm not going to say that when you hear the persons name it won't burn because it will. When I hear his name my stomach flips, but I get through it. Humans are the most vicious animals, you will be okay. If you're in an abusive relationship please tell someone or you can call:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224

Don't continue to let this person hurt you. And remember my message box is always open <3