Time Will Tell

Time Will Tell part 16

“Oh, Colin, I’m sorry,” she said, squeezing his hand. “But you’re not to blame. She had a choice. She could have been content here.”

“She should have.” He grunted. “But nothing short of going back would do. I couldn’t go back. You’ve seen this place. You understand my dream. Why couldn’t she,” he asked, not bothering to hide the torment he’d held inside for too long.

“Was the farm always your dream?”

Colin nodded. “I knew that I would be finding land on my own and moving away. My father and I have differing opinions on what my life should be. I had to leave the area to build what I wanted.”

“I take it she understood you’d be moving away when she married you,” Libby asked gently.

Nodding again, Colin sighed. “She didn’t think I would.”

“Well, there you go,” she said. “You two negotiated a marriage and she agreed to it. She didn’t need to, but once she did she should have honored her agreement. Steve Harvey says we’re all responsible for our own happiness.”

“Steve Harvey?” Colin questioned, with raised eyebrows. “Another man in your life?”

Libby laughed. “No, he’s someone famous who goes around giving advice that no one listens to. I’ve never met the man, but Bev swears by him.”

“Well, that’s good because I’m not up to being jealous of someone else,” Colin said, grinning. “Dr. Bull is enough for me.”

The bit of distress he noted in her eyes stopped him cold. “I’m sorry. That was forward of me and uncalled for.” He offered an apologetic smile and let out a relieved sigh when he saw her relax.

“No problem.” She paused a heartbeat then added, “I don’t think you should feel guilty anymore. Your wife was wrong.”

Her declaration was like a balm on raw flesh. “Are you my defender, Libby?” He looked at her, unable to hide the intense feelings suddenly engulfing him. “Just like that, you’re so sure she was wrong. I could get used to having you around. You’re definitely good for my soul.”

Libby’s smile died, clearly indicating he’d gone too far. He swore under his breath, knowing she must be confused with his acting the teasing charmer one minute and the serious suitor the next.

Shaking her head, she sat up straighter as her back stiffened. “I feel as if I’m headed on a collision course with you. I don’t want this whole mess to blow up in my face because I haven’t been honest.” She licked her lips nervously and met his gaze. “Colin, you know I can’t stay here, don’t you?”

“Of course I know that.” His voice rose along with the anger aimed at himself for giving her the need to remind him. “How could you think I would expect you to, especially after what I just told you about my wife? My God, she hated every minute she spent on this farm. Do you think I want the same for you?”

No one could miss the pain in his words, but their effect on Libby tore his heart in two as tears formed in her eyes, began streaming down her face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to suggest that. I’m only trying to be honest.”

He reached out and took her into his arms, brushing the tears off with the pads of his fingers. “I’m the one who’s sorry. Please don’t cry.”

Libby only cried harder. Their gazes connected, yearning in hers obvious behind the tears, yearning that drew him. Colin couldn’t fight both his desires and hers. Not when her eyes beckoned. And where they beckoned, Colin followed. Right now they were begging him to kiss her. Compelled to yield, he slowly moved his head until his lips captured hers, merely tasting at first. The more he tasted, the more he wanted. He could stay here forever kissing her. She was warm and pliant and the desire to sink into her warmth was more than a craving.

One of the horses neighed and a bird squawked, yanking Colin back to reality. His sanity rushed back like a tidal wave, swamping him with a flood of emotion. Reluctantly, he released her lips. Only he wouldn’t let her out of his arms. He leaned back into the blanket, taking her with him, nestling her head on his broad shoulders.

There he lay for several minutes letting Libby cry, thinking he’d give up his dream and go to the future with her if there was a way. The minute the thought was out, he realized how ludicrous it was. Colin had his children to think of. Even if he could take them with him, he had responsibilities and people who depended on him for their livelihood.

His was no longer a dream he could leave.

~

Her tears spent, Libby lay with her head on Colin’s shoulder. For how long, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she felt comfortable in his arms—not wanting to move—not wanting to think anymore. It hurt to think. She’d gone well past the point of no return with Colin and done the stupidest thing of all. Fallen in love with him. One kiss told her everything. If he hadn’t stopped, if he’d continued and had asked for more, she’d have made love with him out here in the grass. She knew it with every fiber in her being. There was no use pretending otherwise, as she would only be lying to herself.

“What are we going to do?” Her hollow voice interrupted the uneasy silence and floated on the warm breeze.

“I don’t know,” he whispered. He took her chin by the thumb and forefinger, tipping it so that she could see his gaze. “You feel it too. Don’t you?”

Libby looked into his soul-searching eyes and nodded. He kissed her again, a quick brush of the lips, before releasing her, then sat up and began packing. “I think we’ve both been through enough for one day.” Silently, he worked. Finally, he sighed and sat on his haunches. “Libby, I realize your time here is limited. Let’s spend what little there is left together.”

“That’s not such a good idea.” She scrunched up her nose, trying to ignore the surge of pleasure swelling within her heart.

“Why?” His earnest gaze sought hers.

Oh, God. He was making this hard. “I can’t stay and it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“I want to be with you. I think you want the same.” Still watching her, he waited until she nodded before adding, “Why not take what time there is?” His voice was insistent, almost pleading. “I’ll take whatever you give—whatever you allow. Whether you’re taken from me today or next week, the pain is going to be unendurable. Give me some memories to keep me warm when you’re gone.”

“What are you asking?” Libby knew damned well she shouldn’t be considering his proposal.

“I know you’re engaged to marry and I have no intention of causing you dishonor. I merely want to be in your company. I’ll take a few hours off each day and we can be together doing whatever you’d like.”

He stood and reached for the blanket, saying while he folded it, “If you’re still here when I go to Louisville, you could accompany me.” He placed the folded blanket in the basket and picked it up. “I have to be there on and off for the next couple of weeks. We can take in the social whirl, which will be in full swing. You’ll need some clothes—other than boys’ garb. There’s a shop in Shelbyville.” He glanced at her questioningly.

Her breath hitched at the back of her throat. Indecision swamped her. What could it hurt to spend a little time here? Damn! She knew it was wrong, but the caring and acceptance he offered was too tempting to pass up. Stalling, she moved to untie her horse. He followed her and helped her mount.

“Well? What’s your answer,” he asked, looking up at her.

Meeting Colin’s gaze, showing him that her desire and need mirrored his, Libby nodded. “My answer is yes.” Mistake or not, she wasn’t about to lose the opportunity to be with him. She had a lifetime in the future to deal with the consequences.