Jungkook p.o.v
capture my,
--
I'd have to open it sooner or later.
I stared at my unopened suitcase.
With a defeated sigh, I unzipped it and grazed the sketchbook that I had and the charcoal pencils with their shiny encapsulated covers. I had even packed a gift for Jimin, but became flustered and a wussy.
A camera.
Jimin's favourite hobby had been photography back then and I wondered whether he would still enjoy it. The only way to find out would be to give him the gift. But I still felt as if it wasn't the right time.
The apartment was quiet, something I wasn't used to. The area which I lived in had always travelled with noise from the outside world, of sirens, of laughter, or yellings. But here, it was dead quiet.
Quiet enough for me to hear the little sighs that would escape Jimin's lips as he stood at the balcony, chin resting in his hand.
I had been given another list, an updated one, by the hospital of Jimin's medications and when they needed to be given to him. Currently, they rested in Jimin's desk drawer which I'd seen him lazily stuff in.
It was harrowing, really. The excruciating beauty of his that couldn't be touched by anyone except by doctors. Just the mere glance he'd pass at me would send me wild with the way I wished to just touch him was stripping me of my sanity.
Ever since the stroke he'd experienced, all he'd do is sleep and eat. He would barely look at me, let alone talk to me. I didn't know whether to blame his medications's symptoms of moodiness or just the dislike he had for me.
This was ridiculous. I was his caregiver, he had to be around me.
Whether he liked or not.
So I picked up the camera in wrapping and walked to the balcony. He didn't even glance my way even when I shifted towards him and waited for him to say something.
"Hey."
No answer.
"Jimin."
He looked over at me with a face of boredom and raised an eyebrow. As much as he forgot things, he didn't forget how to be an asshole.
I brought the wrapped camera up to his face and he lifted his face from resting in his chin. I could tell he was genuinely curious as his eyes flickered from me to the mysterious wrapped object.
"Open it."
He took it gently from my hands and fiddled with it.
"If this is some kind of bomb to kill me, I swe--"
"Just open it!"
He unwrapped it carefully and I took pleasure in the way his small fingers struggled. After two minutes, he'd fully uncovered it. His eyes scanned over the words on the box and he spoke;
"c-camera?"
I nodded with a smile and he was no longer consumed with any sort of disinterest in our interaction.
He opened the box and took out the camera. I couldn't miss the flicker of excitement that tugged at his smiling mouth and curious eyes.
When he finally got the hang of it and brought the camera up to his eyes, I expected him to turn away and capture the pretty afternoon with the green trees slowly speckled with orange and red here and there.
But instead, the lens didn't move away and I caught myself staring into it, trying to figure out what Jimin might be thinking.
Maybe he forgot where the shutter or maybe whe--
click.
He brought the camera down from his face for me to see Jimin laughing.
For the first time in two years,
I'd seen Jimin,
laughing.
And by God, it was breathtaking.
And soon, I caught myself laughing softly with him as well, not caring if we seemed like two idiots standing on the twentieth floor of an apartment building's balcony.
"Thank you."
We walked back inside with the camera hanging around his neck, looking so damn cute. I decided to put on a movie and we sat on the couch together. I noticed he was shivering slightly and went to fetch two blankets.
When I sat down, I gave him a blanket and draped another one over myself. But suddenly, Jimin pushed off his.
"What's wrong?" I asked him.
He shifted slightly towards me and took the blanket draped on me and sprawled it across his lap as well. With a smile directed at me, he looked back at the TV screen, too quickly for him to not be able to witness the blush that followed my cheek and too briskly for him to not be able to witness the tear which fell down my cheek an hour later, remembering the day he'd done it in the past as well.
No matter what he did, and how hard I tried to move on to the present, he'd repeatedly take me back to the past. The past that only I knew and hurt over.
And that was the day how me and Park Jimin watched a movie together, sharing the same blanket together, but not sharing the same feeling together.
--
heart's wishes.
