Mate Or Not. You're Still A Jerk (#1 Mate or Not)

Don't have it in me

My fists clenched as I said the words that I swore never to say "Lux isn't my mate, I don't have one" I felt my heart tear at that "never did"

Melissa looked at me sympathetically "Oh, I'm sorry I spoke too soon alpha"

You're doing the right thing She said I'll explain everything to you after the dance alpha I swear. And please don't tell anyone.

I won't but I will if you don't offer me an explanation after this dance  I said before she left and the winter king and queen were getting announced

"And winter queen is" the principal opened the envelope and I smiled confidently knowing my mate would be it, she underestimated how many people loved her. "Lux Marison"

I looked at the crowd and found my mate, looking dazed as Chase laughed and pushed her onto the stage, she still looked shocked and my brows furrowed did this really surprise her that much?The principal put the crown on her head and took the other envelope while Lux simply stared ahead of her, like she was in a daze.

"And winter king is" the principal smiled "Damon Lytton" I smiled and went on the stage confidantly as the principal put the crown on me. 

"Lux" I whispered taking her hand so we could dance, like the Winter King and Queen usually do but she took a step back, her gaze went to the crowd and she gazed at them. Okay what the hell? Was something wrong? did something happen? "Lux" I repeated

"No" she whispered breathing faster "NO" she threw the tiara on the floor and ran down the steps, I was immediately chasing after her

"What's wrong with her?" I heard Jason ask me sternly

"No idea" I said as I chased her out the door, calling her name as she walked, more like jogged away. When we got outside she finally talked "Stay away Damon"

"What do you mean stay away?What's wrong? Come on Lux talk to me I'm your--" 

but I didn't get to finish as she turned around, hurt and anger in her eyes and shoved me back "NO" she pushed me again "YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL ME THAT" her bottom lip trembled "you do not get to call me that"

She seemed to be trying to keep herself together as she took a deep breath, her eyes on me, not noticing the group of people behind me "I came here...and I told myself I won't be the same girl I was. I won't allow myself to get hurt. And it was working at first. it was" she seemed to be in so much pain I wanted to gather her in my arms "And then you...and then you had to-to decide you wanted me. you just had to tell me that you never wanted to-to reject me and to-hurt me that way"

I was shocked, what the hell? "It was true Lux I-"

"And I believed it" she chuckled humorlessly ignoring what I said "i believed it." She shook her head lightly and then surprisingly tears made their way down her cheek. I stood there shocked, each tear like a knife to the heart. What happened? She looked over my shoulder and a few more tears left her eyes 

"I look--I look around" she continued "and I see mates that are happy to be together, t-that are madly in love and I...I think: What the hell did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?" She let out a sob and I took a small step towards her "because Mates aren't s-supposed to be this way. They're not. The-they're supposed to love each other no matter what, they're n-not supposed to do this"

I was extremely worried now, what the hell happened for her to be like this? I couldn't be more confused

"I actually" she said with disbelief "i went soft. I trusted you and I-I gave you..I...I...Oh god" She closed her eyes and another sob escaped her "I gave you a chance"  She opened her eyes and looked at me and what I saw there scared me and worried me greatly  "And just when I let my guard down you-you" I gulped "you do this? I'm such an idiot"