If it's not forever...it's not love

I Was Almost Dead

I have seen dead people before.
I have seen them on television,on the news,on their deathbeds,with their loved ones carrying them to the cemetery. But i have never seen dead people like this. Mutilated,maimed,and laying in pools of blood.I have never seen anyone die in front of me,say their last words,cry out for help,look at me with horror in their eyes,choke on their own blood,breath their last,and die.Never.
But right now,they are all around me.Whenever i look,I see them.It's a gory sight.My head tingles and I cry out of their pain and that of my own.My ears ring from the noise of the blast,My nose bleeds and I have vomited twice. I look around to see chaos all around. Images are blurred. All i can make out is red. Blood. Or black,from the ashes of what's burnt now -Men, Women, Children.
There is blood everywhere. On the ground,on the bodies of people,on their lost body part.....on me. Its mine and its theirs. My skin singes and burns from the heat . It i s red and slowly turns black and peels off.
I learn against a wall and struggle to maintain coherence. I can here sirens blaring in the distance,people running,crying,and howling. There is commotion everywhere, cars burn in the background, the fumes of burning tyres fill up the air,and people are running all around. Some of them are carrying other people in their arms. I struggle to keep my eye open but they burn. I am covered in ashes and my head bursts as i look for my car. I cannot spot it. Not in the heap of mangled charred remain of metal that lay in front of me. It is still hot and i can feel the radiation in my face. My neck pains. I feel the nape of my neck -it is wet. I see blood on my fingers. I don't know whether it's mine or someone else's. My entire body aches and burns.
'ARE YOU OKAY?'someone shouts in my ear.
I feel like someone put a hot iron rod through my ear. I stumble across few people -still people,people writhing,and moaning,dead people,bleeding on the ground. I see bloodied faces all around,injured gravely,and they are shouting,screaming,and pleading for help. I stumble over them and i walk away from the site of the blast. I am helpless.
Where is Avantika?

Home,I guess Where am I? I pick up my phone and call her.
'Hello',she says. 'Deb,where are you? I've been calling you...There has been a blast in Chandni Chowk today,where--'
'I am fine,'I say and disconnected the call. Things blur a little more . I pass out. The world becomes cold and dark. There is no pain. Am I dead?