It's been two months since the accident, the accident that changed my boyfriends life and mine forever.
My boyfriend Corey got paralyzed from the waist down, I got depression. The depression has took over my life, I stay in my room all day, I haven't been to school in months, and I haven't eaten a full meal since I don't remember.
Corey has visited me every day since he got out of the hospital. He's the only person I talk to, we sit in my room as he tells me "everything will be okay, we'll get through this." I don't believe him though.
When he leaves I lay down and cry, wishing that this never happened. If the accident didn't happen I would be okay, Corey could be walking out of my room and not wheeling out in his wheelchair.
Before this happened Corey was the quarterback of the football team, I was the head cheerleader. We were the all American clique high school relationship.
It's all my fault. I was the one driving, I was the one who didn't stop. It's all my fucken fault!
Corey can never walk again because of me, I was the one who caused my depression.
FLASHBACK
"Come on Jordan. I want to leave!" Corey whined.
"Okay then let's go." I said.
We were at a party for our friend's birthday, Corey was totally wasted and I only had one drink.
We walked out to the car, actually I walked as Corey just held onto me. I grabbed my keys and unlocked my car, when I helped Corey in and then got myself in I turned the car on and left the party.
We were only three blocks away and I still heard the music, I'm surprised the cops weren't called.
We finally reached the freeway after 10 minutes, we still have 10 to go. Corey was sleeping in the passenger seat as I realized he didn't have his seatbelt on, with one of my hands I reached over him to grab the belt, when it clicked I looked at him to see headlights 5 feet away from us. I tried speeding up but it was too late.
Glass from the windows flew through the air, all I heard was the sound of metal against metal, and the crushing of glass.
I was slowly slipping away, I heard sirens. But the last thing I heard was Corey's voice saying "I love you."
~*~
I opened my eyes to see a blinding white light, I squinted then opened my eyes more. After 30 seconds of not hearing anything I started to hear voices.
"SHE'S AWAKE!" My mom yelled.
"Jordan, can you hear me?" A doctor asked.
"Yes." I replied with a cracked voice, I need water.
"Can I have some water please?"
"Of course you can." The doctor walked away but only to come back right after with a Dixie cup of water.
I grabbed it from her hands and slammed it because I was so thirsty.
"Jordan, you were in an accident. A stolen car crashed into your car, paralyzing your boyfriend Corey and giving you a serious concussion. The driver of the stolen vehicle was not hurt at all, but was set to jail for Grand Theft Auto. Do you have any questions about what else happened?"
No Corey! He's paralyzed because of me! I was the one who wasn't paying attention and almost got us killed.
"Can I see Corey?" I cried.
"I'm sorry but he can't have a visitors." After I heard that I felt even more tears streaming down my face.
"Oh god! This is all my fault! If I had been paying attention and not putting Corey's seatbelt on we wouldn't be in this mess!" At this point it wasn't streams coming out of my eyes, it was the Atlantic Ocean!
"No, Jordan this is not your fault, if you hadn't put Corey's seatbelt on he could've dyed." The doctor tried comforting me.
"I just want to see Corey, I want to tell home I'm sorry! I'm sorry for doing this to him!"
I needed to see Corey, I want to tell him I'm sorry. I want to hug him and hope he forgives me.
FLASHBACK ENDED
I still blame myself.
I blame myself for ruining Corey's life.
I blame myself for everything that happened that night.
I can't forget anything about that night. I can't sleep without seeing those headlights, and hearing the sirens, hearing Corey whisper 'I love you' possibly being that last.
But it wasn't. We both woke up, we both had our life's changed because of that one night.
