4 reasons why I don't have feelings

No feelings for me :)

I'm not an expert on love. I'm serious.
Never been in a relationship. Never talked to anyone serious.

And let's be real:

I'm not the definition of "pretty", "beautiful ", "goals ".

People try to tell me I'm not ugly or unappealing to human eyes but they don't know what I've heard and seen.

And these people are the ones who've been in relationships and get compliments all the time. They tell me "just be patient". "Don't worry. You'll find someone ".

Ha. Really?

Tbh, I've had people look me in the face and tell me "you're never going to have a boyfriend " "nobody wants you " . And I'll admit it:

I took it pretty hard.

I actually believed what they said but I knew that was the cold hard truth. For example,

How come 99.9% of girls have already had their first kiss or already had a boyfriend? What about me?

I'm a girl too. Where's my special moments that I can share with my friends?

What am I doing wrong?

Whenever I see other girls, I feel like hiding. They're better looking than me. Ask anyone, they'll agree with me no doubt. When guys look at me, I know exactly what they're thinking. But you know what I really hate ?

When guys are with their friends and you can see them talking about how ugly you are and how they'd never go out with someone who looks like that.

So I've come to realize that they were right:

I'm ugly. I'll never have a boyfriend. Nobody will ever like someone like me .

So now i know you're thinking "what are the reasons you don't have feelings?" This doesn't have anything to do with feelings.

Actually it does.

If I really wanted to, I would've cried everyday and probably hid under a rock.

Here's the first reason:
1. They don't fit anywhere in my schedule.
- I have too many things to do to worry about who thinks I'm ugly and who would never date me

2. Feelings are a waste of time.
- I am not one to cry in front of people or pour my heart out to someone. Cause who has time to be moping around and being depressed?

3. Feelings are like drugs. And I don't do drugs.
- once you start having those depressing moments, you make it a habit . A daily routine. It becomes harder and harder to quit being sad.

4. It's dumb.
- Sounds kinda harsh, but, that's feelings for you. My days involve laughing way too much and having FUN. Not crying and complaining and listening to sad songs.

Well, hope you can relate to this and maybe learn something from my personal experiences.

♡♡♡