Holding on to you

Five years of pain

I didn't know what in the hell spooked her, or who was behind that door that would cause her to act the way she was acting. However, I sure as hell was going to find out!

Gently, I pried her hands off of my shirt and lifted her off of my lap. The knock came again, but this time, it was a little more forceful. Irritated, I grabbed my gun that was on her nightstand and tucked it in the back of my jeans. Jessica saw what I was about to do and jumped from the bed to try and stop me, but I was already by the door, pulling it open.

A guy who looks to be around my age was standing on the other side, the smirk that was on his face fell away when he saw me and anger and contempt replaced it.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked, not bothering to conceal his anger at seeing me instead of Jessica.

I shifted my weight and leaned against the door, casually. "I was about to ask you the same f**king thing, only I was also going to ask, why the f**k are you knocking on Jessica's bedroom door?"

I could see that the dude didn't like my attitude, but I didn't give a f**k, for some reason Jessica was terrified of the motherf**ker, and I wanted to know exactly why that was.

"I'm her brother's friend." That was the only answer the dude gave, like that should be reason enough.

"Good for you, but how the hell does that concern, Jessica?"

He didn't like my tone, so he puffed up his chest and tried to intimidate me, I almost laugh at his attempt. I've killed guys twice his size and enjoyed it, and all they did was annoyed me or get in my way. I'd happily slice the motherf**ks throat just for putting that look of fear on Jessica's face.

"Listen, man, who gave you the right to question me? Whatever business I have with Jessica has nothing to do with you."

This asshole was intent on pissing me off, and it's been a couple of days since I've had the pleasure of watching the life go out of a person's eyes. I stepped a little out of the bedroom, which caused the door to open a bit, revealing Jessica who was hiding behind it. The guy's eyes flicked to her and I heard her fearful intake of breath, which just served to put me in an even worse mood.

"Motherf**ker, I don't know who the hell you are and trust me that's a good thing, because if for any reason your name appeared on my list then your days will be numbered. So, in order for you to remain alive and off of my list, you better turn around now and never look at Jessica again, because if I catch you anyway near her, I'll be sure to put your name on the top of that list myself."

I saw fear flashed in his eyes, but then within seconds it was gone. However, I think the guy had a death wish because he ignored my warning and smirked at Jessica over my shoulders.

"See yah later, Jessica rabbit."

I was about to punch the scumbag, but the sound of Jessica's soft wailing and her body dropping to the floor made me abandon my mission and turned to her instead.

There was only one other time that I've seen her so scared, completely broken and vulnerable, and that was the time she confided in me. Telling me that when she was thirteen one of her brother's friend raped her.

Instantly I rushed to her side and scooped her up into my arms, I held her, rocking her until she was calm enough to talk to me.

"Baby, was that him?"

I knew she knew what I was talking about, and when she gave a small nod of her head, I felt my rage intensified. However, what I didn't understand was why the guy was in her house and not in jail getting his ass filled by some guy named Bubba.

Sitting her on the bed, I left her and went into the bathroom to get her some tissues. I handed it to her then took her hands into mine, I didn't want to upset her any more than she already was, but I need to get down to the bottom of the situation.

"Jessica, if this guy raped you when you were thirteen, why the f**k isn't he in jail, didn't your parent get his arrested?"

She tried to pull her hands from mine, but I held onto to her. I wasn't going to let her escape into her shell like he does whenever she feels threatened.

"Jessica, please baby, answer me."

It was my pleading that did it for her, she never lifted her head to look at me, but she started playing with my hands.

"At first, when my brother brought him over to spend the summer with us when I was thirteen, I thought he was cute. I kinda had a crush on him, so like any thirteen-year-old, I'd dress up in my cutest outfit and always tried to be extra nice to him. Everyone in my family knew that I had a crush on him and my mother thought it was cute, and he was always nice to me but he would treat me like a little sister..."

Her voice caught and she had to paused to take a breath before she could continue.

"...Then one day when my parents were at work and my brother left to do the shopping, I was left at home with Kacey. At this point my crush on his was at a point zero, it became gross after he said I was like the sister he always wanted. So, when my brother left he stayed in his room and I stayed in mine, and since my parents weren't home I decided to take a soak in their Jacuzzi bath. As I was coming out of their room and going into mine with only my towel wrapped around me, Kacey stepped into my path..."

The more she talked the story, the more she shook as if she was reliving every moment.

"...I tried to step around him, but he kept blocking my path, that's when I started getting scared. Then there was this look in his eyes and I knew that I had to get away from him, but when I tried to scream, he put his hand over my mouth and dragged me into my room. As much as I begged and pleaded with him to stop he never did. I told him it hurt, and I apologised for having a crush on him, but he never stopped. He kept saying that it was my fault, that what he was doing to me was all my fault."

Her big soul crushing sobs caused my heart to clench in my chest, I felt her pain and torture as if it was my own. I've never cried in my life, not even when I watched my big sister get shot right in front of me, but watching the girl I loved relive the most painful thing that has ever happened to her, made me cry like a f**king girl.

"When my brother and my parents came back home, that was the only time I left me room, and when I worked up the courage to tell them, they all looked at me with disappointment. Apparently, Kacey had already told them that I came on to him and begged him to have sex with me, and when he refused I told him that I'd tell my parents that he raped me. My parents were so upset that they grounded me for the rest of the summer, and it didn't matter how much I pleaded with them to believe me, from that day on they lost all trust in me."

I didn't think I could dislike her parents any more than I already did but hearing that they chose to believe a stranger over their own daughter, made me want to put them both at the other end of my gun.

"It took Kacey two weeks to try again, I would always try not to be left alone with him, but that day I couldn't avoid it. And that's how it carried on for the rest of the summer, I never told my parents again because I knew they wouldn't believe me. And every summer after that Kacey would come over to our house, and I knew what would happen but still I never told anyone what he was doing to me when no one was home. He would always call me Jessica rabbit when he came for me."

I did the math and rage filled me for every abuse she suffered at the hand of the disgusting bastard. I knew what I had to do and I knew that I had to plan every little detail, down to the smallest molecule, the motherf**ker had five years of pain waiting for him.

"Looks like Kacey just bumped his way to the top of my list."