Lonely

1.) Flying the coop

The hustle and bustle of the city had nothing on my family! Our living room, currently, can make grand central station look deserted! Especially today. Wait!! What was that? For a second there, a crazy delusional second, I thought I saw a moment of peace! (Isn't that crazy.) But sadly it quickly dissipated, if it was ever truly there to begin with. My delusions were quickly put to rest by the loud, boisterous movers. Yup! You heard correctly 'MOVERS'!!! I'm getting out of here! I'm heading off to the city!

I'm spreading my wings and flying the coop. In a few months I'll be starting college (albeit online) and I'd like to get myself situated as soon as possible! So I'll have time to get my self a job and set myself in a routine before school starts. My apartment is ready and waiting for me and the movers. All that was left to do was to say goodbye.

    I personally hate the word goodbye, it leaves a sour flavor in my mouth, it causes an unwanted response from my overly sensitive tear glands, and it holds such a negative connotation. It makes it feel like you're never seeing who it is your saying goodbye to again. It just sounds so ... so final. And that is definitely not what I'm going for here. It's a happy occasion!! Right? Then why am I crying? All of a sudden I was pulled from my thoughts by two hands snaking around to my sides before resting. Only momentarily of course, but just long enough for one to figure out what's coming next but not enough to prepare for the on coming attack. "Tickle Time!!!" Squealed a comforting, familiar voice. Despite her age she manage to look my age but sound younger than me.

    My mother was an enigma, impossible to understand, and mysteriously good at keeping young. But she was my world. "Why the long face? Haven't you been waiting for this since sophomore year?" She tried to look brave, she tried to hold in the sobs. "This is your time. It's time for you to leave your mark on this world. Chasing your dreams and watching them come true is a breathtaking experience. One you'll never be able to experience here at home but before you go one more thing." By this point there were tears streaming down her face but still she tried to smile and through her attempted smile she sobbed "t-tickle ti-i-ime" and with that an onslaught of teary tickles racked my sides. My senses were overwhelmed as were my emotions. I was the happiest I ever felt and yet I was a sobbing mess. My heart ached for my mother already missing the house I grew up in and the home my memories made it to be.

     "I-I lo-ove you mother!" I managed to choke out between alternating sobs and giggles. Damn ticklish sides. "Y-You can always come back you know. No need to hesitate. Oh, oh, and don't forget to call home everyday!" She continues, somehow sounding stern and commanding through her broken sobs. We continue to hug it out. Rocking back and forth comfortingly in each other's arms. And for a while it was just me and my mom, we were stuck in a delusional daze. But we didn't care, we let our surroundings fade to nothing but white noise and we focused on our farewells.

     But like every other delusion, ours was quickly dissipated and we were forced back into reality. A cold,  harsh reality. "What's with all the tears!! It's not like she'll be gone for ever! Her chances of getting hurt while she is all by herself is only 78% (not a real statistic)!!" My dad laughed. Sensitivity was NOT one of his strong suits. But he makes up for it in humor. Or so he sais.

     "Haha love you too, dad" I say softly chuckling through my tears. As I go to give him a hug I'm reminded of the home I'm going to miss. I really wish it wasn't so hard. Maybe for others it isn't this hard. But for me, it's like asking me to rip my heart out of my chest and act as if I'm not dying. In essence it is exactly like that. "Now, now don't cry! If you cry I'm going to cry." My father said this, but his cheeks were already soaked in tears and he was hiding his face in his arm.

     At this my little brother, Axol, laughed his little chimp like laugh. With only 5 years of interaction, we were closer than my parents were expecting. So this change would be really hard on him. "Hey, chimpy, didn't see you hiding over there. So, when are you gonna come over for a sleepover?" I inquired whilst quirking my eyebrow in an inquisitive fashion. "TONIGHT!! TONIGHT!!" He laughed excitedly, bouncing up and down on his little legs. At this everybody laughed.

      "But then who would be there for daddy and mommy when they get sad? It's now your job to take care of them. I'll leave them in your care." I say chuckling. "Sir, yes Sir!" He beams although he too, is now starting too cry. "I'm gonna miss you!" He cried. "I'm a gonna miss you too chimpy!" I said through a tearful smile.

     My time with my brother was cut short by the movers. "Are you ready miss?" They asked , but I wasn't and nor do I believe that I ever will be. And so with as much strength and determination I could muster, I turned to them with the simple reply of "ready as I"ll ever be.