Secrets

Prologue

     Have you ever felt alone? Well, I have. I continuously feel the loneliness that in my opinion is the worst. Honestly, I do have friends and I try to spend time with them, but what are friends who don't truly care and take time to see you? This is the worst loneliness because you have the people who'll make you feel batter right in front you, but you're scared. Scared to put yourself out there, scared of what they'll say or do, how they'll react. People say it's ok and be yourself and you'll be fine, but don't believe that crap for one second, cause it's not hows it supposed to work, neither is it how it works now, unfortunately.

     I've tried to put my self out there and make some new friends. For some odd reason the old friends don't leave when you want them to, they leave at the worse times and don't come back till you don't need them anymore and moved on. This is the story of my life and I'm so down with it, I hate it. Ive got through most of my life like this. It all started in grade 6. Grade 6 was the start but it was in the year of grade 7th that everything came crashing down, one mistake and everything is weighing me down. Now, at this point I had friends, I had help, but not for too long. People started believing stupid rumours and spreading things that weren't their business.

     So, this book is to finally tell my middle school / high school adventures, where life became hard to live, but fun at the same time. In 6th grade I, Mason was enrolled in Waterloo Middle School. I've always lived in Waterloo, it's my hometown and I'm attached to admit it. Anyway, in grade 6 I had and still do have a friend named Nick, he was not innocent and he had his own serious family issues. To skip to the important part, he basically had a huge crush on me, yes, e was and still is gay. I guess he discovered himself that year before he asked me out. He was dealing with his family that were going through a rough patch. Fast forwarded, Nick asked me out and I wasn't gay, i only liked girls, never had one though about guys being attractive or anything like that. To my religion and beliefs being gay was a huge sin and Is till believe in it, but I do respect people on their own decisions and beliefs. Therefore I denied Nicks request at first, but later felt really bad cause he wasn't my friend anymore and he was depressed. I finally decided to talk to him and it resulted in me saying yes cause I believe I have a gift of Mercy. I've always been "too trusting", my parents say... and its still a problem.

    Later that day I couldn't take it, I broke it off with Nick cause it didn't feel right and I tried being open to it, at that point I was going through puberty and I had mixed emotions and thought my 6th grade female english teacher was hot, haha! To clarify, nothing happened between Nick and I, I went back to my sports and friends. Nick and I thankfully soon after the mishap became best friends. He stilled liked me and I dealt with it very responsibly for being 10? 

     The next day of school everyone was talking about it, I had been minimally bullied form this guy because of this situation with Nick by a kid named Preston. Surprisingly, he's a very nice kid now and were okay friends. Furthermore, more and more kids got ahold of the "interesting" information and everyone thought, "How could perfect Mason be gay?!". Soon, thankfully my friends stuck up for me and everything died down for then. But little did I know what the future had in store for me...

      In this past stage of my life I felt really alone, but loved at the same time cause my friends couldn't make me feel any better and or forget the mean things that were said. Eventually I'll get to the most lonely part of my life.

Thank you everyone who is reading this, it's taking me a lot of guts to write this book. Obviously if this book gets published or something ill change names and places but for now to make it easier for me (attachment issues) I'm keeping them the same, just not including whole details. Please share this story, at Church my pastor said something that really hit me like smashing into a brick wall. He said that before the next stage of life, all of our sins and actions will be known, and i don't want to keep secrets anymore.