Finding You

My death

Have you ever woken up in the morning and wished you didn't?

Yes? Then you feel my pain.

No? not really? Then you can only be rich or an innocent child. There's no way your working a regular 8 hour job with 2 hour commute to-fro work, six days a week.

Either way, it's how I would want to die. To just simply not wake up one day. A silent, peaceful death. I think everyone would want that.

Otherwise, I'd want to be shot in the head and die on the spot. I don't wanna die of sickness and go thru the grieving process. Who needs that? If you gotta go, just go.

I want instant death! I want it to be painless with no drama or fuss, and I don't want it to be humiliating - like that's even gonna matter after death.

***

Well, I guess I got my wish. I did die instantly in my sleep. But not exactly in my bed. I died en route to my bed.

I got off work and rode on public transportation. I was so tired, my head dropped to sleep and I just didn't have control of my body anymore. The vehicle was over the speed limit then suddenly brakes at a stoplight that sent me spiraling through the front shield and out of the jeep. There you go, instant death.

Just like that, boom. I woke up without my body. I saw it being carried to the emergency ward on a stretcher.

When they declared me dead, I waited for someone or something to take me away but nothing came.

I lingered around my body. I couldn't seem to get away from it. I was able to attend my own funeral, it was a small ceremony. With my grandmother, a few of her friends, some of mine and a few neighbors.

My parents are already dead and the prospect of seeing them again had me excited to go to the other side.

"I'm gonna see you soon, honey." I hear my grandmother say. I felt sorry leaving her behind but like she said. I'm sure she would follow soon enough. I couldn't wait for her to get rid of her aging body. Her back has been giving her hell.

When my casket is lowered and buried and the people leaving, again I waited for.. I don't know. A light or something that'll like beam me out of here. But nothing happened.

How long am I gonna stay here?

The people have already gone when I strongly felt the presence of 'others'. I couldn't see them, I could only sense them.

"Hi, there!" Says a jolly entity beside me. She didn't exactly say it. More like I could hear her mind. Like telepathy.

"How are you?" She asks.

"I'm fine, I guess. I'm waiting to be taken."

She giggles.

"You can't be taken, silly. You're too young."

"Pardon?"

"Only really old souls are taken. Souls that have evolved. You are going to be reincarnated."

"What?" I am flabbergasted. "When? How?"

"As soon as you find your soulmate."

"I have a soulmate? Seriously?"

"Uh-huh."

"Wait. Give me a minute. This is not how I envisioned death to be like."

Again, she giggles. "I know what you mean. Humans are clueless."

"So.. find my soulmate. Where do I find him?"

"They usually live in the same vicinity or they will be. At the very least, they should be in the same country. They don't stray too far away."

"But how can I find him if I can't leave my body."

"You can try."

"I did, so many times."

"Try again. If karma doesn't get you, you could leave your body now. It is where it should be."

I didn't understand the bit about karma but I moved as far as I could from my burial site and I succeeded.

"I did it!"

She giggled as I circle around her.

"So, how does this work? How will I know it's him?"

"You just will."

"Okay. So what do we do after that?"

"Depends."

"Depends on what?"

"If he's still alive or not."

"Oh God. So what do I do if he is alive?"

"You'd have to wait."

"If he's dead?"

"If he is, you should be feeling incomplete right now. Like a missing piece. Do you?"

"No, I don't think so. I feel great."

"Then he's definitely alive."

"What happens if I don't find him? Will I stay a ghost forever?"

"Yes, until you fade away."

"Uh.. what are the chances of that happening?"

I don't know how but I could feel her shrug her shoulders.

"Well, how hard could it be really. I just gotta find (sighs) one person."

"Can you help me?" I asked her.

She giggles. "I can't. I'm stuck with my body. I can't leave it until every bone rots."

I looked at her epitaph, she died in 1920 and her name was Marilyn.

"Why?"

"Karma."

"But you need to find your soulmate too, right?"

She nodded. I could feel a tinge of sadness from her.

"He has already lived two lifetimes without me."

"How?"

"He just needs to find me when he's dead. He could go back but I can never go with him."

She giggled after a moment of silence. " Don't worry bout me. You should go. It's a whole new world out there.. I guess."

I looked beyond the cemetery.

"It must be." Suddenly, my mind is filled with a list of people I want to visit.

"I'll come visit often."

She giggled. " You know where I am."

"Goodbye, Marilyn."

I left and literally flew past the cemetery and I could hear the 'others' like Marilyn, cheering me on.

I flew past trees, roads, houses and buildings, free, like a bird but even better.

I couldn't help giggling. I am just so happy. Happy to be rid of my human existence.

To be continued..

Next: Fast forward three years later but I still can't find him!