Cecile sat up and rubbed her tired eyes. She immediately started to run towards the banquet hall despite not changing out of her pajamas. "Today's gonna be a fantabulous day ooooooo!!" She exclaimed, "omg J-pepper's party will be fantabulous because I planned it duh."
Emilio opened the door quietly and sat down in the back of the room.
"Hey, everyone I hired!1!1!1!1 turn on the smoke and dramatic lighting. This is a baby shower not a wedding, idiots!!!!!"Cecile called out. As you can see, Cecile is not the most quiet girl of all time.
A tear slid down Emilio's cheek slowly.
The dawn's new light rose behind her and her all-green attire glistened.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH EMILIO?!?!?!?!????!!!!?!??!??" exclaimed Cecile.
"H-H-H-H-H-He's gone! He left me!" She replied as her hands shook with internal anguish.
Cecile patted her hand soothingly.
"So you're single then?"
Emilio's tears were gone.
"No whattt do you even know me I seduced his brother, Cadriel, the very next day!" Emilio said in disbelief and extreme anger.
"Is Gabriel okay? Why did he leave you? Em-" Cecile tried with a comforting tone.
"1, never call me Em I swear I will slit your throat at twilight. And 2, I got the message last week that he was declared missing in action."
"I'm so sorry, Emilio."
"It's okay I have his brother now hehehe he fell for me so easily. Cadriel come here." She summoned. A guy that had on a BlackHawks jersey and hair that was spiked up with gel, entered the room.
Everyone looked at him in disbelief.
TIME HAS PASSED LOL HAHA
1 hour later, the door burst open and glitter started to fall magically from the ceiling. The DJ announced, "NOW ENTERING IS OUR GUEST OF HONOR, JAHHHHHH-PEEEEEEPER!"
Someone leaned over and whispered something into his ear. "I mean J-PEPPER!"
J-pepper entered through the door and started pumping her fists and doing super funky dance moves with her baby bump.
Andrew entered silently behind her as he rubbed his hands together mischievously and with an smile on his face that made you assume he was plotting to slit your throat at twilight.
They sat at the main table, but not before J-Pepper spotted Emilio sitting in the corner in her bright green outfit.
"What the freakin heck, Emilio. Why are you here OMG this is against my religion! I already paid you for the stuff!"
Andrew patted her head softly and she sat down quietly.
"Uh, that's the reason I came duh. You thought I wouldn't be here so I came ha ha didnt c that one coming did you?"
J-pepper started to cry because of her overwhelming hormones, and Emilio was asked to leave along with her boyfriend, Cadriel.
She refused and J-pepper gasped.
She did not c that one coming.
The door opened again and Rainey entered with 5 well-known British men on her arms.
Then men were giggling and poking each other playfully. "Are they okay?" Cecile whispered concertedly.
Rainey leaned in closer, "They're just so excited that they're all brother husbands!" She whispered excitedly and pulled them along towards the punch bowl.
The door flew open and a raging percussionist/rifleman/bassist (apparently) entered the room in a blizzard of fury.
"What's goin on, Emilio?" He questioned in anger.
Emilio froze and slammed her clarinet into the side of Cadriel's head so hard that he fell to the floor.
"My hair." He whispered before he passed out.
"Oh nothin much u know the usual." She said casually and draped her arm across the nearest folding chair.
Just then a very shady man ran into the room and dropped a briefcase on the main table. It popped open with the force of the drop and billions all in dimes spilled out. With his hands raised in surrender he told Emilio in fear, "HERE'S THE MONEY DONT HURT ME OR MY FAMILY, EMILIA!"
Emilio looked shocked.
"WHAT IS GOING ON, EMILO?YOU KNOW WHAT I CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE MADNESS AROUND HERE IM DONE! DONE I TELL YOU, DONE!" Gabriel grabbed a green device from his duffle bag, pulled out the pin, and threw it into the center of the room.
The explosion ricocheted throughout the building and everyone fell to the floor. Death. It's everywhere. We cannot escape it.
}}}}}}{{{{{{
Johanna aka Janahan entered the room like the beastly awesome person she is. She carefully avoided stepping over the bodies and made her way to the middle table where the money laid quietly. She clicked open the briefcase to make sure her payment was in it, then left the banquet hall without a trace.
'All too easy', she thought.
YOU ARE READING
LoLness
HumorI have removed most of this story because many people have been getting upset and that was not the purpose of this book. (The purpose was to make people laugh) The first paragraph or so of each chapter remain. If you still wish to read this, I have...
