When I'm Gone

Chapter 4

A soft knocking upon the door brought me from my sleep, and yet as I awoke the place around me was unfamiliar. Ah, but I did know this room. Mentally face palming myself as the earlier events came flooding back, I came to notice that someone’s highpitches, overly perky voice was calling us awake, “Come on honey, it’s time to wake up! The sun is shining, the weather’s nice, and you have a big day ahead of you at school!”

Alice was slowly being roused from resting on my chest when she cast a glance in that direction, “All right Mom, I’ll be out in a second.” The footsteps receded, taking her reply as a good enough answer.

That must be Mrs.Enat. Even as a child I distinctly remember her being the bright, animated person that she probably still is. Whatever you loved she would be there, sharing your enthusiasm over catching a spider (even though they’re ‘gross’) and praising you for everything you’ve ever done (trust me, she didn’t forget to share it all at my fifteenth birthday). And although it seems to grate on some peoples’ nerves, I can’t help but feel that she is one of the most fascinating, faultless people I have ever met.

As silence fell beyond the door, Alice turned to me. Her hair was in an all manners of distress and confusion, and yet I couldn’t help but smile as she spoke to me.

Her mouth moved, the pink lips voicing things that never reached my ears. Man she looks good. Has she always looked this nice?

“Max!” She snapped a hand in my face, startling me enough to blink myself back to reality.

“What, what’s the matter?”

Alice brought a hand to her head in mock discontent, “I was saying that you should probably get going now.”

“No, it’s to early…” I whined before snapping one of her pillows over my eyes to which she let out a huff.

“Come on, get out. I need to change and stuff for school.” Alice gave me a playful shove, sending my heart fluttering, “Of course, you could stay, but then you’d be deemed a pervert.”

I’m sure you wouldn’t mind that too much. A voice smirked in my mind, Come on, think about it. Her, without any cl…

“All right, I’ll go!” In a quick motion I was silencing the thoughts and getting to my feet with my face growing a shamefully dark shade of red. By now Alice was giving me an odd look, but she didn’t question the abruptness of my decision.

“All right then.” She rose from the bed and crossed the room to her dresser, shuffling through all her clothes that hung neatly on the clothes hangers.

For a few seconds I contemplated leaving straight off, and yet I couldn’t help but turn from the window and address her, “Alice?”

“Yes?”

“I…” An apology didn’t seem right now, no, I’d just have to make proper amends later, “You’ll be at school, right?”

A short laugh came from her, one that was light, cheerful, and set my heart throbbing again, “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”

“All right, that’s cool.” I awkwardly shifted my weight to the other foot before gesturing towards and slowly backing that way, “I guess I’ll just, you know…”

“Just go, Max,” Her voice was bright with amusement, and as her gaze shifted to me her eyes were sparkling again, “I’ll be there.”

* * *

God, that was such a stupid thing to say. I mentally scolded myself as I shifted in my desk, my hand itching to have a pencil or at least something to draw with. I guess you could say drawing was “my thing”. If I wasn’t working on homework or hanging with Alice, that’s what you’d find me doing.

What is there to be scared about? I chastised myself as I finally began to notice the dull head ache coming about. Alice said she’d be at school, and it’s not like I don’t trust her, so what’s the matter?

That was the real question now, what was the matter with me? Ever since our discussion in the park I’d been feeling odd, my emotions all mixed and my thoughts not my own.

That one about Alice wasn’t too bad, My mind began to argue back with me. Was I really bothering to have a conversation with myself? Come on, you liked the thought. You know, seeing her stand there without any…

            There I go again! Growing annoyed with myself, I brought a hand to my eyes, rubbing the spot just above my left eyebrow where the pain began to central itself. Despite the room being quite, there still were the occasional loner sprinkled around the room in desks, hunching over a book or crowding there phone. It was nice peaceful almost…

“Are you really that tired?” Her voice was playful as Alice slammed her books down on the desk beside me. An image flashed through my mind as fear grasped my heart, and out of sheer terror I bolted to my feet. A gun. A man. A flash.

The chair beneath me clattered to the floor. People turned and cast me a brief glance before once more preoccupying themselves.

I gripped the edge of the desk, closing my eyes and focusing on allowing my escalated heart rate to drop, “Don’t scare me like that!”

Alice paused, biting her lip before bending over, righting the chair, and guiding me into it. Something about her touch upon my shoulder, though, was not at ease. It was tense, stiff as though she understood there was something deeper. But did she see it? No of course not, that would be ridiculous. I shook my head, refusing to say anything more until the image left my mind. No, I can’t remember, I don’t want to remember…

“Max?” She began tentatively, saying my name as if it were to soothe herself from her own fears. It was a few moments before Alice brought a cautious hand to rest on my shoulder before I finally managed to bring my gaze to her, “Are you all right?”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded and gently brushed her hand from my shoulder before breaking eye contact. “Of course, I’m fine.”

Alice paused, about to say further on the topic, and yet as she slowly sat back down she brought up something else, “I was curious what you were going to do after school today.”

“I was just going to go home and do some homework, I guess.” The change of subject was a relief, and it at least aided in trying to forget.

“Do you want to hang out?”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

A smile flashed on to her face, and just like that I felt the memory melt away, “Good, then meet me in the meadow later, I have something I want to talk to you about…”

* * *

It’s around 11:30 at night right now, but nevertheless I wanted to shoot out a quick update for ya’ll! :) If you notice any typos, please'feel free to comment and say so!

I would also like to share a lovely poem that a good pal of mine wrote! It’s titled “We Remember”, and it’s by @forev14. Something about it struck me as absolutely perfect in troubled times that we are facing now, and I thought you may be interested in it as well. Go ahead and check it out in her profile!

Votes and such are, as always, very much appreciated. I love you all! Don’t forget to grab your complimentary chocolate chip cookie as you leave!