phil
i sigh wearily as i walk into the apartment i share with my boyfriend chris. he's not in the living room, or the kitchen. i put the groceries away, one by one in their designated places. by the time i'm done, i just feel tired. he isn't in the bedroom either, so i assume he's out somewhere. again.
tiredly, i take my shoes off and fall into bed. usually i go pokemon hunting when chris isn't home because it makes me distracted from what he could possibly be doing. but today, i'm mentally and physically exhausted. so i lay down and fall asleep.
when i wake up, chris is still gone. most of the time he's back right after dinner. i don't even bother with dinner tonight. i always make too much in hopes that he'll come home and eat with me for once. i grab a nutrigrain bar and sit on the couch, in silence.
but the silence makes me sad. i turn on the tv, one that hardly gets used. a rerun of friends is on, so i watch that.
i can't stay here alone, it's going to drive me crazy. but what am i supposed to do? i could go out, but usually i don't without chris.
why is this so hard?
ten minutes later and i'm at a club. there's one just down the road from our apartment complex, so it didn't take long. i walk in and get a drink so i look busy.
i'm sitting on a couch at the edge of the room as music plays loudly. girls giggle with their friends and people dance. i wish i felt less awkward. i wish i could walk up to someone and make conversation like everyone else here.
a loud laugh knocks me out of my thoughts. it comes from a tall guy with brown hair standing with his back to me a few feet away. he's talking to two boys, one with curly brown hair and another with artistic clothing.
i watch them for a moment, before i get up and walk out of the club.
