The Beauty in Pain | Book One of In Pain Trilogy *EDITING*

42. Her Worst Nightmare

I hate my life.

That was all Charmaline could think as she stared at the beautiful maiden before her. I have the worst fate.

At that thought, she never felt anything could feel more true. Before this brown haired lady walked into her life, she had it good. As good as it could get for a lowborn woman like herself, and when Saenar Baronius took notice of her, Charmaline thought her life couldn't get any better. She had the love of a prince, even though she lived as a handmaiden. But growing up on Herod Plains in a tiny farming village made her appreciate the little things, and a job such as this - so close to the royals - and the fact that her lover would one day rule the Nations was more than she ever wished for. For a time, she was truly happy. Nothing could go wrong.

That was, until Saenar told her that he was betrothed.

At first, she felt anger. It was deep, unusual, and short lived. Her instantaneous thought was that he lied to her. He played her. She was just a passing fancy until the one he really wanted came along. Charmaline didn't blame herself for having such horrible thoughts; he was the prince after all! To that very moment she couldn't understand what it was he saw in her, with such a normal face and such low birth.

Soon enough - almost as quickly as it came - the anger dissipated. Saenar had explained, with an extra dose of anger at the injustice, that he was sorry he hadn't told her before and that he didn't want to ruin what they had. He said he only found out about it a few months before he met her and, in no time, he had fallen so head over heels in love, he no longer withheld that information out of them not knowing each other well but out of fear that she would leave him. Charmaline felt sympathy for him then; to see him so angered, so sad that he was set to marry someone he didn't know when his heart belonged to another. She felt outraged for him.

Charmaline was too nice of a girl. She hated it about herself. Many times, it had given way for her to be stepped on and used, but all those encounters never gave her any backbone. So when she saw the woman who was set to marry her prince, the fuming rage that boiled inside her couldn't find a proper way out. She thought of poisoning the maiden, have her bedridden for days, but then her fingers had shook so much when she held the vial, it slipped from her fingers and the dangerous liquid seeped into the ground. Then she thought about having her 'accidentally' trip and hurt herself, preferably break a bone, but she couldn't even do that. No matter what horrible thing she thought of doing to her lover's fiancee, Charmaline had a nonviolent nature. She couldn't do anything in her power to stop her two year dalliance from ending.

It killed her.

It killed her even more when she actually spoke to the girl. She was blabbering on and on, trying but failing to cover the odd guilt she felt being in her presence. She knew the girl knew nothing about her and she feared her reaction when she did find out. To find out your betrothed had a lover wasn't bound to be a good feeling, speaking from experience. Yet, that odd guilt melted away when Lady Mynera spoke to her. She was funny, inquisitive, witty and she spoke to Charmaline like they were equals.

She hated the woman. She wanted to be her friend.

That was her final thought as she stared into Mynera's face. The shock came and went like a passing wind on her face, and it was the cool-headed maiden staring back at her. No matter what though, Charmaline couldn't get her jaw off the ground. Her mouth opened and closed, gaping as she stared at the girl she thought was finally out of her life. She knew she was alive, gossip about the king's obsession was the juiciest of them all. But not for one second did she think she would come back to the capital.

What happened to Saenar?

"Charmaline." Her voice was still silky smooth. It drove her mad. "What a pleasant surprise."