Certainty - LuciusxSeverus Oneshot

Certainty

Absurd.
That was the one word that kept flying around Severus' mind when he read the letter. It was written on thick paper with the familiar Malfoy crest on it, which was generally a good sign of bad news. He read the letter for the third time, then disintegrated it with a well-aimed "Incendio!"
Severus ground his teeth together, impatiently fingering his wand. How was he going to deal with the ridiculous blond git before the final task? Obviously he would stay in Hogsmeade, but with his luck, Severus would most likely be forced to keep him... entertained.
Severus shuddered at the not-so-innocent thoughts that floated through his head at that, and quickly shut off that part of his mind. It was better to not think of it and to just wait for the night to come. He still had classes to teach, thankfully without that wretched Potter, his thick-headed friend Weasley, and utterly annoying Granger.
He looked at where the bleak sun was slowly filtering through his small window and decided to pretend that nothing was unusual. It's not like Lucius would do anything without risking a trip to the hospital wing.
Why was he even coming to watch the last task? He didn't go to the first two, and it was obvious that he cared very little for any of the contestants and their well-being. It was out of his character, and rather idiotic to put it lightly. Did he think something was going to happen other than hero Potter winning the cup out of luck?
Severus stopped his train of thought. He had suddenly come across a realization, and lightly touched his left arm.
He then shook his head, and stood to get ready. Karkaroff was nothing but a paranoid dolt. He couldn't possibly be right about his suspicions.
But what if he was...?
Severus slipped on his robes and placed his wand in a pocket. He straightened his robes out in the broken, full-length mirror that sat opposite his neatly made bed. He scowled at his reflection then, satisfied, made his way to the door to go to breakfast. He wouldn't eat anything, of course, but it would be irritating if he were to be questioned about his whereabouts on such a nice day.
---
Lucius was, to be frank, bored.
He lightly swirled the scotch in his glass as he stared lazily at the bar. It was packed with witches and wizards in varying stages of depression, and Lucius could feel the looks that they were giving him on the back of his neck. He quickly downed the rest of the liquor in his glass and threw down some sickles on the table. He then grabbed his walking stick and abruptly sat up to walk to the exit.
A bell rung, alerting of his departure. He stood outside of the pub for a second, drinking in the setting sun.
Narcissa had refused to go with him, as he had expected. She said something about it being 'ridiculous' and 'just another excuse to see Severus', which wasn't entirely true. It was an added benefit, yes, to see him, but Lucius had come for a different reason (though, now that he thought about it, he was more sure about his idea when he realized that Severus would be there).
And that reason was the Dark Lord.
He knew that he had been rather... neutral when it came to that subject in the past thirteen years. He had to keep up the act of a transforming politician to gain trust and credibility, but became blind to the Dark Lord's movements. He cursed at himself now for being too inept to see that the Dark Lord was growing more and more powerful with each passing year.
Lucius gave a half smile, and started to go off into the direction of Hogwarts. He felt almost excited, like he was a boy again, bullying the younger Slytherins and conspiring with his year-mates to commit the unthinkable. He could feel the muscles in his left arm clench with impatience, and sped up his pace.
He wasn't a liar, he thought to himself. He was a Slytherin, and a soon-to-be faithful follower.
Severus would understand. He could be turned again. No one becomes a Death Eater and then quits.
Lucius walked across the wide lawn to open the large, heavy doors of the school with a discreet flushed look on his face.
No one ever stops being a Death Eater.
---
There was a brisk knock on his door, and Severus looked over the top of his Advanced Draughts for the Practicing Brewer book at it. He mused over whether or not he had given out any detentions today before sighing. He knew who it was. He scribbled something in the margins of his book, then set it down, shutting the cover slowly.
"Come in," he said cooly.
The door opened and a familiar blond figure walked into Severus' office, cane firmly in his grasp.
"Severus," Lucius said. His eyes glanced around the circular room, eyeing the innumerable amount of vials filled with different colored liquids covering the walls, then finally turned to face Severus.
"Lucius," Severus said, his own eyes searching for a hint of an expression on Lucius' face to determine why he was in his office.
Severus gave up after a bit, and very slowly leaned back in his chair to muffle the sound. Meanwhile, Lucius had sat in the chair in front of him, his icy grey eyes staring at him calculatingly.
Lucius broke the uncomfortable silence. "I see that you have been... busy," he said, eyes gesturing to the vials on the wall.
Severus held back a smirk. "Surely you must know that I am the potions master at this school. It is a rather tedious job, Lucius," he retorted, glancing down at the book he was reading. It would have to wait another day, he thought bitterly.
Lucius looked at him with amusement before returning back to his usual, uninterested gaze.
Severus cleared his throat. "Why are you here?"
A smirk lightly graced Lucius' lips. "I have come to ask something of you," he said. "I assure you that it isn't too much, just a small inquiry."
Severus raised his eyebrow. "And what is this... inquiry?" he said softly.
Lucius leaned in and looked right into Severus' coal black eyes. "The Dark Lord," he whispered.
Severus blinked, the only sign of his surprise being the slight parting of his lips. "Lucius...?"
"With my full confidence, the Dark Lord shall rise tomorrow night and call for our presence," Lucius said, his voice rising with anticipation.
Severus was, annoyingly, shocked. The Dark Lord will rise? But this can't be...
What will Dumbledore say about this news?
"No one would be the wiser," Lucius continued, starting to sound like a young child. "Severus, this could be our chance to show our devotion-!"
"As animated as I am, I can firmly say that it is nearly impossible that the Dark Lord could rise, and unfathomable for him to rise tomorrow. Lucius, are you sure that you have a reliable source...?" Severus asked quickly. He hadn't had time to think about his role as a double agent possibly being ruined by something as ludicrous as the Dark Lord rising. It wasn't realistic in the slightest, but Lucius seemed oddly convinced, which unnerved Severus.
"Severus, I wouldn't lie to you..." he paused, creating a sense of drama that he was known to use to great effect. "About that particular thing, at least," Lucius assured, placing a hand lightly on Severus'. Severus stared at the gesture warily, but didn't move to stop it.
Lucius went on. "We had such a bond and an understanding for each other back then. We had vowed to trust one another in the midst of the war. Certainly, you do remember, Severus...?"
Severus was quiet. He never looked at the memories of his teenage years often, for they reminded him of his unfortunate mistake. He could hardly remember talking with the students in his year about anything other than revenge, which made him distant from even his closest friends (though he had few). Eventually, he had joined them on the Dark Lord's side, but out of loneliness and the isolation he felt outside of his own house rather than out of serious devotion for the Dark Lord.
He did remember Lucius and his attempts to become at the least acquaintances with Severus, but mostly to get answers from him in their early years. They didn't really talk until about fifth year, and even then Lucius enjoyed being a level above Severus in pretty much everything. During the war, Lucius liked to raid with Severus and take most of the credit for the damage, even if he only did a small percent of it. Severus never really considered them close; just boys trying to figure out the world on their own, really.
"Yes," Severus said carefully after some pondering. He knew that Lucius didn't enjoy being told anything that he didn't like, and Severus was too tired to fight with him, but he had to get his point across. "But it is a ridiculous thing to believe. We are no longer schoolboys after all, Lucius."
Lucius smirked and leaned further in, centimeters from Severus' face. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong," Lucius said in a low, breathy tone.
Severus looked off to the side, acting uninterested, though in reality he was slightly startled. "How am I wrong? We are full grown adults, years since our last lesson in Hogwarts. How are we-"
Lucius' hand on Severus' gripped tightly, effectively shutting him up. Severus was forced to look up at him to try to communicate his discomfort, but stopped when he saw how close Lucius was.
In an instant, Lucius had had his cane under Severus' chin and was holding down his wrist. Lucius had one knee on the desk to help him reach Severus and was staring intently at him. Severus forced down the urge to gulp and relaxed his face, giving the impression of indifference towards his situation even though he was panicking on the inside.
"Do you remember the game that we used to play when we were sixteen?" Lucius said softly, his eyes darting down slightly to where his cane was pressing into Severus' neck. He paused, as if waiting for Severus to say something, but then looked back up.
"The game where we would try to guess if the other were telling the truth," Lucius continued. "But if the one guessing was wrong, then they would have to-"
"Do whatever the other person wished," Severus finished.
Lucius gave a half smile. "Ah, so you do remember."
Severus tried to hide his grimace. He remembered the game all right, but it wasn't a fond memory. The game was something inane that they had played occasionally in their sixth year, and it generally ended with Severus being ridiculed. Severus grew sick of it after a while, but Lucius was constantly badgering him to play and have an excuse to embarrass Severus.
"My original statement still stands," Severus said, trying to ignore the head of the cane digging into his throat. "We are not school children anymore, nor will we ever be again."
"But we can always pretend," replied Lucius. He had the familiar glint in his eyes that Severus instantly recognized as the one he wore whenever Severus finally agreed to play the game back in their sixth year.
"No, Lucius," Severus said firmly.
Lucius let out a low growl. "It's just a silly game, Severus. You aren't doing anything else this evening," Lucius said with a hint of a smirk on his face.
Severus didn't try to hide his grimace this time. "I said no," he replied adamantly.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake, do it for me?" Lucius sounded desperate, which was strange. Why would he be so distraught over something so little?
Severus didn't quite understand what Lucius wanted from him yet, but if Lucius was being so firm about playing the stupid game then Severus might as well go along with it.
"Fine," Severus muttered. He didn't exactly have a choice; Lucius looked like he would strangle him if he refused, the head of his cane pressing hard into Severus' neck.
Lucius raised his eyebrows in surprise, then loosened his grip on Severus' wrist. "Good," he said slowly. His cane drew away slightly but not too far, and Severus didn't dare eye it for any longer than a second.
Lucius settled back in the chair in front of Severus and lightly dusted himself off. Severus lightly touched his neck where the cane was, making out a slight indent with his fingers, staring at Lucius, who then looked up at Severus expectantly.
"You can start," Lucius said.
Severus narrowed his eyes subtly, but searched his mind regardless. He was tempted to lie, but he knew that Lucius would look down on him for lying so early in the game, as he did back then. He settled for a small useless fact that wouldn't effect him in any way.
"I am a teacher at Hogwarts," Severus said with a small smirk.
Lucius sneered. "True. You are too easy, Severus."
Severus only looked on as Lucius was thinking of his own fact - or lie, Severus remembered. He didn't dare use Legilimency against Lucius. It was a rule they had put in place when Severus had taught himself the old magic, and it greatly limited the extent of his ability. It was cheating, yes, but Severus would have enjoyed winning a round at least once this night if he wasn't so true to his word.
"I am in love with Narcissa," Lucius said at last. He stared at Severus with an almost bored expression.
Severus inwardly rolled his eyes at the definite fact. "True," he said.
Lucius smiled a similar smile that a crocodile might give to its prey. "Wrong."
Severus pursed his lips. "Wrong?"
"Yes," Lucius said, his eyes dancing over Severus' face. "That was a lie."
Severus' eyes darted down to the top of his desk. He knew that the marriage was under contract, but he didn't think that Lucius wouldn't fall for her after some time. Narcissa was the perfect wife that any big politician could wish for, with enough warmth to be a caring mother and the hint of slyness that made her a true Slytherin. On top of being a member of the notorious Black family, she was quite a good ally and friend to have on hand. Severus would most likely have been in love with her if he wasn't so invested in Lily...
"I want you to smile," Lucius said, his lips curled in an amused smirk.
Severus narrowed his eyes. What was Lucius trying to do? Usually he would force Severus to strip or something equally as embarrassing, but they weren't teenagers anymore. There was no reason to humiliate each other now.
Severus sighed, dismissing his inquiring thoughts, and gave the biggest smile he could muster without losing a part of his dignity.
Lucius only smirked wider. "A real smile, Severus."
Severus dropped the grin and scowled briefly. Lucius was acting very strange. It wasn't like him to push so hard in such a mundane way. Severus knew personally that if Lucius wanted something, he would come up with a very creative way to get it, usually by tricking the other person into giving it to him. He would never resort to begging.
Whatever it was, Lucius was obviously not backing down. Severus inwardly groaned at the thought of having to smile- correction, really smile- for Lucius because he couldn't refuse to play such a stupid, idiotic game.
Sometimes, Severus couldn't understand why he was so nice to the few people he trusted.
He rolled his eyes and tried to force himself into a cheerful mood, then smiled again. It was uncomfortable to use his face muscles in a manner that they had never been used in before. Of course, it was even more uncomfortable to be smiling in front of Lucius Malfoy, of all people.
Actually, Severus mused, Lucius was probably the only person he'd smile in front of without feeling like he was going to be blackmailed in the next hour.
Lucius' smirk widened and he seemed to grow visibly more relaxed, which confused Severus further. He dropped the smile in return, trying to assess what Lucius' reaction meant.
"I have a hatred for Draco," Severus said, a bit faster than he wanted to. He was slightly unnerved by Lucius but didn't want to seem too nervous to avoid being taken advantage of.
Lucius' smirk faded and was replaced by a sneer.
"Liar."
Severus inwardly huffed. "Correct," he said. Of course he didn't hate Draco. It was obvious to anyone who had eyes that Severus favored everyone in his house, especially the blond-haired boy. He wasn't even completely sure why he had made such a blatant lie.
Lucius gave him a dangerous look, then glanced away. Whatever had driven him to force Severus to smile was dispersing quickly, much to Severus' amusement. It would be nice if Severus could go one round without being hopelessly mortified.
"I have kept something from you," Lucius said after a long pause. He was looking down with his head lower than usual, as if he was anxious about something, but Severus shrugged that off.
He assumed that that was the statement that he would judge, and had a difficult time coming up with a verdict. Every Slytherin kept secrets, some small like stealing a book from a parent and some large like stealing a diamond from an exhibit. Severus couldn't imagine a secret that Lucius would confess in such an intimate setting, though, since Lucius enjoyed scandals as much if not more than a petulant columnist. However, the fact that he didn't love Narcissa was a pretty heavy secret to tell, so maybe Severus was remembering his friend inaccurately.
Severus, in an effort to settle his doubts, finally settled on an answer.
"That is a lie," he said.
Lucius only looked at him with a serene look, his lips curled up in the corners slightly. "Wrong again, Severus," he said softly.
Severus bit his bottom lip, annoyed again. He disliked being so awful at this game, especially when Lucius was deliberately trying to make him fail. It didn't seem fair.
But it wasn't exactly like Severus was trying either. He gave very obvious and vague statements that even the thickest student could see through. He didn't seem to really care about the game, which he hoped he was portraying.
... Or maybe he wanted to see what Lucius would come up with as punishment?
No, that was ridiculous. Severus forced out that thought and focused on the present.
"Close your eyes," Lucius said.
Severus didn't see any harm in complying, so he shut his eyes immediately. He assumed that Lucius may take advantages of him while he was so vulnerable, but Severus stopped worrying when his eyes were closed.
He was comforted by the darkness he saw in his eyelids. It made the situation seem distant, like an escape from the confusion and general strange feeling he felt in his stomach. He let the darkness pool over him in slow waves, slipping deeper into the abyss of his mind. He was reminded of when he was teaching himself Occlumency, and trying to build his barrier from invading forces. It was rather nostalgic, really.
A few moments passed, long enough for Severus to wonder if Lucius had just left him alone in his office. It wasn't beyond him to do that; it was his favorite activity when he was thirteen and messing with the first years who looked down on him. While Severus was reminiscing in his years at school, he didn't notice the light shuffling that came closer to him until he felt something warm touch his lips.
Severus' mouth opened with a gasp, allowing the mysterious person to slip their tongue in. Severus gripped the armrests of his chair, not daring to open his eyes to reveal the unknown kisser. He could have if he really wanted to, but something about the anonymity of the whole situation made it more interesting.
His mind raced with who it could be, all while succumbing to the deep kiss. It could be someone Lucius brought in. In fact, that was most likely it. Lucius probably planned their whole conversation up until this point just to get a good chuckle.
But that was too strategic, and Lucius had never been that smart.
Lucius...
Suddenly, the darkness that Severus was so used to seeing with his eyes shut bloomed into various colors. They exploded out like flowers and evolved into intricate forms, constantly shifting into each other.
It was beautiful.
In that moment, Severus knew. He relaxed into the kiss, letting the not-so-mysterious person take the lead. The person recognized this instantly, and steered the kiss into their favor, cupping Severus' face with their hands. Severus steadied himself by finding and gripping the person's waist. They let out a choked, guttural sound, provoking an intense feeling Severus hadn't felt in years.
It was the certainty he felt that convinced Severus. The same certainty that Lucius expressed when he spoke of the Dark Lord's predicted rise. It was the certainty that he felt deep inside him when he noticed the Lucius seemed off. It was the certainty that he felt now that told him to keep his eyes shut and enjoy the kiss.
It was with that certainty that Severus knew Lucius would be in front of him, breathing fast and ragged, when he finally opened his eyes after the kiss ended.
The stared at each other, both breathing hard and in the same positions; Severus in his chair holding onto Lucius' waist for support and Lucius holding Severus' face in his hands. Freezing grey ice met onyx black night, both with a soft and subtle warmth to them.
Severus was oddly not surprised. It's almost like he knew all along that this would happen, that they would be holding each other and both desperate for happiness long after the war had ended and they had went their separate ways. It was almost like they had had a tension between them; a tension that kept building and building and building, until the inevitable release.
Even though it seemed unlikely, and even though they had their differences and their faults, it was an intense sureness and... and certainty that had pulled them together to this beautiful and harmonious moment.
When Lucius bent down to steal another kiss, Severus only smiled lightly and complied. This time, he wrapped himself with the warmth coming from Lucius and the mild scent of rich evergreen that was not unusual, though now it seemed to hold a different meaning and significance than just the musky scent that reminded Severus of the large forest behind the Malfoy Manor. He trailed his hands up until he was grasping at the long, silky hair that flowed down gently over Lucius' shoulders. There were so many things about him the Severus thought he knew, yet he was relearning them over and over as the kiss deepened again.
Maybe it was the intensity of the emotions Severus now felt, or maybe it was the certainty that Severus had come rely on, but something had pushed him to take control and push Lucius against the edge of his desk. Lucius responded excitedly and slipped his hands down underneath Severus' robes as Severus feverishly fingered Lucius' hair.
It was probably a horrible decision to keep going, but Merlin did it feel fucking great.
The world around them no longer existed when they were kissing; it closed around them and stopped for a second, as if watching them relieve their pent up desire. As if wondering why they didn't do it sooner, why they didn't figure this out years ago when they were more innocent.
But they were no longer innocent, Severus thought bitterly. Lucius had a wife and a son, and Severus had been hopelessly obsessed with a dead girl. There was little they could do to cultivate these feelings and turn them into something more.
It was too late.
But right now, as the sun set over the lake through Severus' small window, reflecting off of the broken mirror across from his now mussed up bed, none of that existed. It was just them together, just two men who never really got close, who never really talked, who never really understood one another.
Just them, the sun, and a certainty that all of this was alright, that all of this was supposed to happen.
He supposed that they would have to stop at some point. This couldn't exist with the circumstances that they were in. They would of course be laughed at, ridiculed, and at the most displaced from their respective jobs.
But right now, as Lucius was unbuttoning his shirt and Severus was lightly trailing down his face with short, sweet kisses, both of them with flushed cheeks and almost lazy grins, it was okay. They were hidden from the scary outside world, hidden from due dates, hidden from people that would judge them harshly, and hidden from their worries.
But hidden is how they must stay.
And that was something they were both certain of.