Hyemi in Wonderland

Look Here

In front of us on the coffee table are rows of different types of alcohol that I bought at the convenience store and another wine shop close to my apartment. In between the alcohol are lots of snacks. Children and young adults out there, it isn't safe to mix alcohol like this, but my goal is to put Taehyung to sleep. I'm pretty sure that after a few glasses of soju, he'll be as quiet as a kitten.

I definitely underestimated Taehyung because he turns out to be the sort that enjoys playing games while drinking. Even worse, he starts popping each bottle of alcohol and is too eager that he grabs two big mugs from my cupboard. He doesn't even care about the aesthetics; it's just all about how much a cup can hold. He fills both of our cups with soju and then flashes a sinister grin. Oh he is definitely up to no good.

"All right!" He claps his hands like a seal and shouts, "Time for fun and games!"

"Can't we just . . . drink?" I sulk.

I'm sitting on the couch while he is sitting across from me on the hardwood floor. My cheek is leaning on my palm while my elbows rest on my knees. Taehyung points to the ground, forcing me to be on some even playing field as him. As I criss-cross my legs, he explains, "So here's how it'll go. We're going to make things simple but interesting. We'll do rock, paper, scissors and whoever loses will have to pick truth or dare. If the loser wants to pass, then he or she will have to drink."

Since it's rock, paper, scissors, I have faith that I can beat him. I've always been good at things like chance. Whenever I enter my name in some contest, I'm bound to win something. If I want Taehyung drunk, I'm going to have to try harder, so I suggest, "Let's add another rule."

"Yeah?"

Good. He's taking my bait.

"If you lose the rock, paper, scissors, you will have to drink something that the other makes you drink and on top of that, if you want to use the pass, you will have to drink," I add.

Taehyung gives me a thumbs up and a wink. "Good one, Princess Hye-mi-bitch!"

"Thanks, Taenobitch," I roll my eyes while answering.

"Let's start then!" He claps once and the game begins. We have a few ties because the two of us keep choosing paper. However, I decide to go with a rock and he picks scissors.

I pump my fists, cheering, "Yes! Drink! Drink! Let's go with a shot of . . . whiskey and some soju."

Without a word, he drinks from the bottle of whiskey directly and then takes just a tiny sip of soju. That cheater. He thinks I don't know. I'll let him go for now.

"Take your poison," he says. "Truth or dare for me."

Since I'm not curious about his life at all, I automatically choose: "Dare."

"Okay. What's your dare?" he asks.

Without thinking, I order, "Make up a rap right now."

"Yo, heyo." He gestures like those rappers on Music Bank where his hands are flapping back and forth. "This TaeTae in the house. Yo! Drinking is fun, but only 19 over. Holla. Kaching. Kaching."

"Bahahaha!" I burst out laughing and cover my mouth. There was no rhythm to his rap at all and no rhyme. I wonder how he survived as an idol. Did he never have to rap? He even ends his rap with a fake cool pose where he hugs his body. "This is golden!" I comment. "Damn. I should have recorded it."

Ignoring me, he goes on to say, "Round two. Go!"

This goes on for a while. I'm on a winning streak because I have been giving him dares four times in a row. So far, he has rapped, twerked, told the birth of a chimpanzee through only his body, and has let me put makeup on his face. I have told him to drink rum and wine together. He has had some plum wine and more soju. There's also some tequila and coke and champagne. I wonder what's next . . . and bang! I lose.