A Court of Dreams and Nightmares

Chapter 12

Tamlin pulled me down, placing me with surprising gentleness on the bed, before he pulled his tunic over his golden head. I didn't let myself dwell on his naked torso, afraid that I would start panicking if I did. Instead, I focused on the task ahead. I had to time this perfectly if I were to succeed. He traced his fingers along my thighs, coming to a rest at the edge of my nightgown, mid-thigh.

"You can't imagine how much I missed this." He mumbled hoarsely and brought his lips to mine, letting his tongue bore into my mouth, conquering me. I fought the urge to throw him off and tried to follow him. My hands on his bare back felt foreign, detached. My body and mind were two separate beings, performing their own tasks. I felt his right hand slide up, up, up, no longer skimming the edge of my nightgown, but moving towards the apex of my thighs and what lay between them. His left hand made to cup my breast and as his fingertips brushed the sensitive skin there, I struck.

Something had clicked into place while I fought off the daemati and I was in complete control of my mental powers. The strength and determination of a high lady surged in my veins and I saw everything clearly. I was not only Feyre, former human, survivor of Amarantha, mate of Rhysand, I was the High Lady of the night court - I wielded the combined powers of the seven high lords.

The ease with which I breached his mind stood in stark contrast to my previous attempts. I brushed past his defences as a shadow of his own making, masked in cedar and lilac. I was in complete control, and even though I clearly saw that curious obstacle that had held me at bay earlier, I had no trouble seizing control. My gamble had worked. The passion and desire roaming in his body left him vulnerable. I could finally access his mind. I felt his body go taut beneath me as I willed it to stop his advances on my body.

I had no time to dwell on the sensation of finally gaining entrance to his mind. I focused entirely on the task at hand – making sure that I embedded a false memory that showed us making love. Rhys had taught me that it was easier to feed off real experiences when twisting the truth, so I drew on the memory of us enjoying each other, getting lost in the throes of passion.

I began weaving images which would become his new memories, into his mind. Some were of us, ripping off the remainder of our clothes to feel the nakedness of each other. Others were of his mouth on my body, my mouth on his, nipping and licking at the sensitive spots. I made sure to make him remember the thrust of his hips as he sheathed himself in me with possessive power, and me, moaning his name over and over, I didn't let myself react to the images taking form. I had to keep a cold distance or my disgust would entangle itself in my perfect, fake memory. When I was certain that he remembered nothing but our mingled breaths, the sensation of our skin touching, his completion and me, falling asleep in his arms, I made him dress and walk out with a sudden urge to check the grounds, to make sure that whatever had frightened me in the garden earlier, had not returned.

As he slid out of my room on silent feet, the feelings that I had kept bottled up came rushing in, washing over me in waves of fear, guilt and disgust. I had taken control of his mind – his mind. I could have destroyed him completely with a few thoughts. Bile rose in my throat and I scrambled to the bathroom, just in time. I had spent so many nights in here, pressed against the cool marble of the toilet, wishing for it to end – this was no different.

When I finished heaving, I sat back against the wall letting the events of the last hour wash over me. I felt terrible. I had violated Tamlin's mind, and no matter how justified I felt I was, I couldn't shake the guilt. This was definitely a power to fear.

Alone, on the floor of my luxurious bathroom, doubt came creeping in. Tampering with Tamlin's memories was a risk. If anyone found out, be it the king or Tamlin himself, it could be disastrous. I'd done my best to weave the memory into the very fibre of his being by using his own power, but was it enough?