Chapter Ten: I Cant Do This Any More

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I looked down at my scarred wrists. The past months of stress finally exploding as I took my razor to my wrist for what seemed hundredth time this month. my emotions dripping down my skin as the blood trickled down, dripping on the white tiles of the bathroom. I knew I was supposed to be stronger for Rosalie, and for myself. But it was hard, I was slowly running out of the money I had available to pay for the treatment to get rid of my baby's Cancer. I just wanted this all to be over, I wanted Rosalie to be better, and us both to be happy again. I hadn't been my self for nearly three and a half years since that monster had found me in the alley down the street from my house. I just wanted to be happy, to be content with life and happy to be alive and breathing. but at the moment the only thing keeping me alive was Rosalie. I had lost all my friends after Estelle had called me a slut and left me with no one after a silly argument over nothing. I can't see myself being happy ever again.  I held the old ragged cloth to my wrist stopping the flow of the blood. I wet the cloth bending down again as I began moping the remaining blood droplets from the floor. I looked down to my puffed skin on either side of a deep red line, I bit my lip as I pulled my jumper sleeves back over my cuts, hiding my fresh wounds. 

I left the bathroom, stopping outside of the open door of Rosalie's room. I heard her heavy breathing as she snored slightly. I walked into the dark room and stood by Rosalie's bed. I watched as her chest roads and fell as she slept. I noticed the peach fuzz on the top of her head, her long beautiful hair finally staring to grow back after months of radiation therapy, he skin pale grey in colour and her lips cracked and dried out. I lent over her and kissed her forehead, squeezing her arm gently before walking out of the room. 

I walked into my own room and began thinking, how nice it would to be happy all the time, and have not a single worry in the world, but as it  usual seems like no matter how happy, or how good of a day I have there is going to be several points of time where I are going to sit on my bed, wrapped in my blankets, clutching on to my pillow for my own  dear life and cry about every little thing that went wrong that day. Nothing will ever go as planned, I will always seem to have a best friend that, for a while I will honestly think is for life, then you find I they have gone and back stabbed you, talked about you behind your back, and lied to your face about every little thing. I'm going to spill a secret to someone I  thought I could completely trust, and the whole town will end up knowing in a matter of days.  Nothing would ever be one hundred percent fine, and at the moment it was just worse then usual. I looked at my cut wrists, vowing to stay strong, and hold back from harming myself any more then I already had, I knew that Rosalie needed be to be both mentally and physically stable to help her pull through her sickness. I looked at my watch, not believing how close it was to day light. I rubbed my stinging eyes, pulling my blanket up over my body sinking into my bed a heavy sigh escaping my lips as my eyes fell shut.

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Niall's P.O.V

I ruffled Sam's hair before saying my farewells and following the rest of the boys out of the room. I was always to leave Sam's bed when we visited him in the Hospital, he was defiantly one of my favorite patients. He always had this massive, crazy smile, and this spark in his eyes that made me just want to wrap him up in my arms. I had always wanted a little brother, and for me and Sam, that's the relationship we had together. 

"See ya Niall" He called out to me as I entered the hallway. I saw the rest of the boys formed in a circle talking to one of the nurses. I joined them missing the last bit of their conversation as they exchanged goodbyes and left. I turned to Louis, his crazed smile large and full of excitement.

"Where are we going?" I questioned the group as we walked past our usual exit and into another part of the children's ward. 

"We have been asked to go see another little girl before we leave" Liam started, but being distracted by a message on his phone, I rolled my eyes playfully as a smile spread over his face, he was obviously messaging his girlfriend Isabella. I nudged Harry, signaling him to continue from where Liam had started off. 

"The little girl has a rare form of brain cancer, her mum is about 17 and they are both pretty quiet and keep to themselves, so the nurses have asked us to go talk to them and see if we can cheer them up" I was filled with disgust, how could you possibly be a mother so young, and with little to provide for your child, I didn't really feel like sharing my opinion with the group, knowing they would just tell me to be careful of what I say, and how im acting, and not to rude along with a string of insults about how inconsiderate I was. I nodded in Harry's direction as we walked into the small hospital room. I was the last to enter the room, the first thing I noticed was the most petite, pale, grey skinned, little girl, sitting on the floor of the room cross legged next to a tall blonde, curly haired girl. Her eyes shot up staring at us for a moment before standing up and wearily introducing herself. 

"Hey, I'm Violet..Can I help you?" Her voice was elegant as she spoke. I stood at the back of the group, a blank expression across my face. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her blue eyes with sparks of green staring at us each as Harry explained that we were there to hangout with them for a while. We sat and spoke for hours, we spoke about her daughter Rosalie, and how long she had been sick for, but I guess we all kind of realised it was upsetting Violet and changed the subject to what ever Rosalie had been drawing. As the others became consumed in conversations with Rosalie I turned to Violet, and began asking her questions, how old she was, how old Rosie was, we talked about school, and work, and just anything else that came to mind. She told me about her family, and her old best friend Estelle, but when I asked her if they knew the father of Rosalie, she went quiet. I felt kind of bad for bringing it up, so I dropped the subject rather quickly by joining in the conversation with the others trying to make Rosalie laugh by pulling faces and saying stupid things. 

Finally a burst of contagious laughter filled the room, an identical spark in her eyes shone just like her mothers as she smiled. We were all soon toppled over clutching our stomachs as the laughter grew louder and louder. We continued to joke around and sing and dance for another half hour before Zayn received a call from management warning us that several fans had began to gather at the bottom of the large building. We only had so long before we wouldn't be able to leave the building. We said our farewells to each other, I slipped my number into Violets hand, whispering into her ear that if she needed to talk to anyone other then her family to give me a call. She gave me a small kiss on the cheek before I turned and wrapped Rosalie into a massive hug, kissing her forehead and slightly tickling her as I followed Zayn and Louis out of the room, shortly followed by Harry and Liam. 

The boys exploded into chatter about the two we had just met, I walked into the guest elevator in silence, replaying my conversation with Violet in my head. My heart ached for her touch, and to see her once again. She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen, I couldn't stop thinking of her smile when we had finally made her little girl laugh. As much as I tried I couldn't stop myself from thinking about her. 

 A/N: Hey guys, I am so so so sorry that it has taken me a while to upload lately, and yes I am aware that I am not the best writter, nor have I been bothered to proof read many of the chapters. I have been very busy as of late, and have had a lot of personal troubles. I am trying to get the chapters out as quickly as possible for those who actually care about what is Happening with Vi and Rosie.. Also Tegan, if you are reading this for some odd reason, happy birthday, I hope you had a lovely day!

 So yeah, I love you all that read my stories, and dont forget to vote, comment, and share. xxx

-Jess x

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