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by pelicanjudy

by pelicanjudy

Heal - Tom Odell

Emily

My house comes into view about 5 minutes after my departure with Van. I walked home, since I never learned how to drive. I notice my mothers car not in the driveway, meaning she must be out shopping or something.

Last night has left me totally confused. I'm either still so in love with Van, or I'm just being stupid, I can't tell. It can't happen again. We can't just add another time to the list where we're on again, because I've seen the ending so many times - it's not worth it. But remembering last night makes me realise how much Ive missed falling asleep in his arms and how much I've missed him in general. I'm so confused I feel like lovesick 14 year old.

As I pass through the hallway of my house, on my way to the stairs I glance to the living room, seeing the back of my dads head on the sofa, looking towards the television. "Hi dad," I shout as I begin to crawl up the stairs.

Strangely, there is no reply.

I swing myself around half way up the stair case, and stand there, waiting for a response.

Still nothing.

"Dad?" I call again, now retracing my steps to the living room.

I find my father with his eyes closed. Almost white, almost still. "Dad?" I say as I nudge his shoulder, my voice barely audible now. He's stone cold. His eyes remain shut, the only hope letting me know he's even alive is his chest unevenly rising up and down, doing so in jerked movements. I start shaking his shoulder now, in hope he'll do something. Hoping he will come to life. However, he doesn't.

I hear a knock on the door, I ignore it. Knowing I need to call an ambulance, I fiddle around in my back pocket, where I always put my phone. It's not there. My eyes are stinging now and as I try to contain myself, the tears pour out, restraining my view. I check my bra for my phone, then fumble around the sofa and start patting the ground in hope to find it. There is another knock on the door which I ignore again, now with dropped tears smeared on my arms. Where the hell is my phone? I shake my father again, thinking maybe I didn't hard enough the first time. Still nothing.

Suddenly, a figure appears in the doorway of the living room, it's Van. "You left your pho-"

"Call an ambulance," i scream, struggling to do so through my jagged breaths. I grab my dads freezing hands, as more water releases itself from my eyes. As I attempt to warm him up, I vaguely hear Van speaking my address to the phone. He sounds muffled as my focus is fixed on the man in front of me. My whole body is shaking. I just need my dad to be okay.

"Thanks so much for being there for me," I thank Van as we are outside for a smoke. It is now about 9pm, my father woke up not long ago. It turns out he had a lack of oxygen in his blood, and if I hadn't got to him in time he might not have made it. However, everything is looking good now. Fortunately Van stayed at the hospital with me all day, he did such a good job with keeping me calm.

"It's alright, whenever you need me, I'm here," Van answers as he tosses his cigarette to the ground, before standing on it.

"I would have been a wreck without you here," I say, trying to let him know just how grateful I am. I finish my cigarette and we both make our way back inside.

"They're keeping him in over night," my mum tells us when we meet her. "Will let him go in the morning, just want to keep an eye on him,"

"I'll stay over night with him," I say with no second thoughts.

"Emily, I think it's best you go get some rest, it's been a long day," my mother suggests.

"I'll be fine," I say, my stubbornness coming out.

"You'll be doing no good here, get some rest he'll be out before you know it," my mum says.

"Em, I think you need the rest," Van speaks up from beside me and he places his hand on the lower part of my back. "I can drive you home,"

"But I want to stay,"

"Get some sleep Emily!" I hear my dad croakily yell from the next room. I guess if my dad thinks I should go home I will, since I'm here for him.

Van walks me into my house, probably just to make sure I'm okay. "Do you want a cuppa?" I offer him.

"I'm good, should probably get going anyway," Van grabs his keys off the table and crouched down to give Harvey, my dog a pat on the head. "You'll be alright, yeah?"

I really don't want him to go. I really don't want to be alone. I just need someone.

"Why don't you stay?" I blurt out without thinking about it. He gives me a sympathetic look. The thought of being by myself makes my eyes water, after today I just feel as if I need someone. "I just- I just don't want to be by myself."

Van watches me get all worked up. I hate braking down in front of him but sometimes it just can't be helped. He sets his keys back down and pulls me into a hug. "Don't worry," he presses as his hand glides up and down my back. "I'll stay with you."