trading hate for love

Open eyes

MisterJ, mr. J, The Joker, The Laughing Man, the evil clown, my lover, my boyfriend, my soulmate...

 My abuser...

 The one I hate more than anything... 

The one I had loved more than anything... 

The one who made me stronger, let me believe in myself, and then would tear me down crash me into the nothing before a building me up again only to repeat the cycle so that I was slowly being destroyed. 

As I moved beaten broken bruised body try to work my way into a sitting position I will laughed... 

I also cried.

 Everyone had warned me about the Joker but I wanted to prove something to myself to everyone that I was a psychiatrist that could fixed even the most Damned maybe getting a little glory for it.

 But I have been the one who got Damned. 

When I met the Joker he told me a sad story something that reminded me of myself. J had made himself out to be a victim of circumstance that while he was damaged and he damaged other at the core he was a fighter and I thought so am I.

 When he started acting like I was the greatest thing that ever found the Oreo to his peanut butter I felt like this is what has been what I've been waiting for is it was worth every hardship...

 and so I Harley dawned the white makeup and became what the Joker wanted me to. First everything was Grand magical even... 

Every crime, every kill, every fight with the bat, everytime we caused chaos there was passion there was less and there were laughs.

 Well I wasn't laughing anymore The Joker had beaten the funny out of me. 

It was a day like any other we were going to rob a bank again the Joker why so happy treated me like a doll but then the bats came and not only did he arrest  all of Joker's men but had managed to shoot J in the leg, I was able to get him away from the bank bats unable to get me hell even punch them in the jaw ..

  when we were in an alley miles away he turned on me he said I was the one who messed up that I was the one who caused it to see I made him look like a joke... 

So he beat me over and over and over again while laughing tell me I was nothing to him just a warm body he was able to help his crew now and then all I was joke.

 I don't know what snapped in me what switch turned what part of me became unscrewed but as he walked away I thought to myself this is it I'm done. 

I slowly got up and walked down the alley in the shadows one hand on the wall that was near me to keep myself up right...

 I was done being his punching bag Harley Quinn is a beautiful queen and I don't deserve this. 

It was bad enough that he never loved me like I love him but he understood how I always have felt he always laughed I thought it was with me...

 Not at me.

 I finally felt like I belong somewhere I took the beating took the love took every sad moment took the last when I didn't want it took the pain when I hated it...

 Maybe Ivy  had actually gotten to me..

 Maybe the psychiatrist Arkham have finally broken through my thick skull... 

hell maybe mister J just punch some sense into me but I was over him.

 I guess it hasn't even been a long time coming for a while now never he yelled at me about how I did something wrong I would think you're the one who messed up...

 When he yelled at me about letting bats get away I would think to myself at least I can stand to fight all you do is use any weapons and then get punched in the face and knocked out.

 He would yell at me like I was a damn fool and I would think to myself why am I here don't even love him hell do I even like him. 

And it all led to this I straighten myself up why are my eyes and knock on the door as it opens and the man behind the door with dark circles around  his tired eyes and continued to run the hand to his disheveled ink black hair I put on my biggest proudest smile knowing I must look look a mess..

" hiya there bats my little girl and all the cold streets?" Behind the door a shot Bruce Wayne just looks at me like a bomb had dropped a last giggle and I black out... this will be fun