ten months

it has been a dreadful ten months of me liking you. ten months and you go and do this to me, leave me hanging like this, in this place, you think this is right? don't treat anyone this way,    just let them know what you did or I will...

june 28th 2015
the day I met you, we were together at a race meeting and I didn't  know anyone only the odd person. I was with my friend and she introduced me to you, you were so short that I thought you were younger than me but I immediately fell in love with everything about you my parents used to often tel me there was no such thing as love at first sight but this taught me different. I remember I spoke to you and you seemed so special, just meeting you had brightened my day. All I thought was that I wanted to kiss you and be with you, be a big part of your life and let nobody take you from me. You thought I was deranged and that you would never like me the way I liked you. But I still had hope, well atleast I thought I did.

June 29th 2015
It was a very bad day for you to be racing and you fell off and broke your bike. That was so vivid and I can't forget it, just standing there watching you do it hurt me, knowing people had died doing what you had just don't hurt me more but seeing that you were okay was god giving me a chance to talk to you so I took the offer and made it my own. The night before that we had talked about me coming down to the track but we hadn't got close enough because when I come down to make sure you were okay with everything you just threw it all back at me and shouted.

The next day you followed me on instagram and added me on snapchat, but as a girl always does when their crush likes there photo (not that they hadn't) they stalk them so hard they nearly like their photo from 79 weeks ago, this is where I was able to see the person you really are... as I have told you ! you're truly a dick.

You started dating another girl after you knew how I felt about you, after I tell you my feelings for you, after everything, I couldn't help but sit for 3 hours alone in my room crying. It wasn't like I could do anything but I let it happen because it was your life and not mine, I couldn't choose how it all went for you soo just put on my smile and showed you the good side of me.

when you broke up with her the smile lit up on my face, this was amazing news! yes I felt guilty saying this all but it was true, I had likes you for around 4 months and it was amazing knowing I could have you all to myself again, the way we used to.

6 months later you and me, we got closer again and started to talk more and do more things together and this is when you finally fell for me, this was when you would finally hold me and make me feel safe, you could finally talk to me all day and night long and nobody could say a thing, you could be with me for months on end, until a month later you changed your mind and completely lost all feelings for me, and whatever I did I'm still sorry.

another few months passed and you had your girls I had my people and we had our ups and downs but we were being pulled together and this time we were both sure we could make it, but then I went and ruined it all, I made the biggest mistake and I kissed another boy.

We had so many memories all together and so many laughs on FaceTime and cute texts that I surely couldn't delete and just you meant a lot to me, I didn't want to not be friends I mean look at all of the months and bunches we had spent together. but then you got a new girlfriend and I stopped caring, about you, about us, about anything we ever had.

Then you and her broke up when I saw you for the 2 day meeting. I remember seeing you so vividly. We stood and we were play fighting then you floored me, it was just like it used to be, nothing hurt when I was around you.  We continued talking and catching up for ages and occasionally play fighting and I was happy with that. In fact just being with you made me happy. Then in the evening the bouncy castle was blown up and we were on there acting like kids and fighting when you floored me and sat on top of me.

I flipped us over quickly and you pulled yourself up and kissed my lips. I sparked completely and I was so happy. This was the moment I had been waiting for this whole time the spark that could maybe pull us together again. Then a friend of yours said 'Oi is that your girlfriend dude" and you said yes. At that point I was finally completely over you and my feelings then you sparked it up again. All I could think to myself was do I want to do this again when we could lose it all, and I didn't want to lose any chances with you so I went for it.

I was so afraid of losing a friendship with the boy I was talking to so I kept it from him but I told my best friend who told him anyway. But you kept kissing me and it was a dream come true in a way because I had waited for you for so long that I couldn't stop. You aren't the best kisser though! I hate that we aren't friends anymore L but if we can ever be friends then I will be waiting for you at the friendship line.

Love from Megs❤️