Cutting Is Not The Answer

I was screaming in my pillow and crying so many tears that I couldn't see a thing.

"Cutting is not the answer. Cutting is not the answer. Cutting is NOT the answer. CUTTING IS NOT THE ANSWER!!!"

I couldn't stop sobbing, I wanted to die. She Killed me when she killed herself. I told her, I told her it wouldn't solve anything.

"God why didn't she listen! One more year and I could have saved her! I would've taken her away from there!!"

If only she had waited... God i wanted to kill that monster that did this. No matter what happened to me he would pay.

I was already dead inside from losing her so i didn't care what happened to me anymore just as long as i get revenge. Revenge for her and for me, he killed us both.

"Oh Lilley, why? Why did you do this to me? To us? I loved you so much and now i will never get to be with you again-"

I was choked off by a sob but that was good because just then my mom walked in.

"Ky?"

I turned to her and when she saw my face her eyes fell. She started silently crying.

"Ky baby I know you're hurting, I came up to say you don't have to go to school and that i will leave my cellphone on at work. You call me if you need anything ok?"

I turned back to stare out the window.

"Ok."

She took a step towards the door but hesitated.

"Ky I love you."

I sighed, "I love you too mom."

She left then and I let out the sobs I'd been holding in. I couldn't take this pain, I couldn't. But how do I make it go away?

"No. It's wrong." I was talking to myself.

I didn't care anymore, she did it...why can't I?

I got off my bed and went to my bathroom. I grabbed a vase of flowers off the counter and threw it to the floor. The glass shards went everywhere and I saw one in particular that caught my attention.

It was long and pointed with a very sharp end. I picked it up and pressed it to my wrist.

"Am I really going to do this?"

I didn't want to think anymore. I didn't want to do anything anymore. I pressed the shard into my arm until it punctured and blood welled up.

Then I slid it up my arm ignoring the screaming pain I felt. After I had sliced from my wrist up to the crease of my elbow I dropped the bloody shard.

I slid down the wall and sat there watching the blood ooze out of my arm. I started getting lightheaded all of a sudden and I passed out.

The last thing I heard before complete blackness took me was a girl screaming.