Forelsket

The Gray Day

Both are not naive enough to not know the feelings they share while they stare at each other between the glass panel that serves as the window. Both have enough experience in life to keep pretending that they are not attracted to each other. They are not teenagers after all. They know what attraction is and how it can evolve into something deeper and more serious. Acknowledging their feelings for each other can be a wonderful thing or the worst-case scenario of their life.

Because it doesn't make sense. They are neither an acquaintance nor a friend. They are just two familiar people in the coffee shop.

He as the barista.

She as the customer.

If it is just a simple case of "wanting to know someone" then the glances and quick conversation can easily dispel their feelings of intrigue. If it is just a crush over an outlook appearance then they should not be thinking constantly about each other outside the coffee shop. If it is just a simple like for each other then fluttery feelings, sparks, and missing each other 's presence should not be happening.

It is obvious. They are starting to fall for each other. And they are afraid to admit that.

The smile of the handsome barista behind the mahogany-colored counter slowly fades as days pass by. It has been weeks since she last came in to the cozy coffee shop. Those entire weeks has been grey and dab for him. She serves as his inspiration at work. Now she's gone and he's feeling lonely everyday.

She is confuse. Is it okay to like someone first because of physical attributes? Because of those smiling eyes?!

She has too many experiences of failed relationships. She had watch her parents through the process of divorce. She had seen her friends fell because of love. She had heard different kind of reasons from her ex-boyfriends about the lost of love. She had raise herself many times from different phases of breakup. Although falling in love again is not a scary thing for her. It still leaves her with much apprehension.

That is why she is being careful. That is why she stopped coming in to that coffee shop. That is why she has to sort her feelings first without being affected by his mere presence.

She can't afford making another mistake again over a guy. She is not getting any younger and a serious lover is what she needs to consider right now when looking for a man. How can she have an assurance that a guy she's only familiar with at a coffee shop can not wound her heart too?

Once upon a time, she fell inlove to her guy bestfriend and after three years of being in a relationship, he left her. They were very close since middle school and now they are treating each other like two strangers. A warm and gentle guy like Richard can be a cold and uninviting guy like her guy bestfriend. There is no assurance that it will not keep from happening. Change, after all, is the only constant thing in the world.

But distancing herself from that coffee shop does not last longer than she expected. Two weeks came and she finds herself walking towards the pebbled pathway of the small haven that has been providing her temporary bliss. The cozy coffee shop that has artificial Cherry Blossoms adourning the veranda and a smiling barista with a charming eyes greeting you from the mahogany-colored counter.

She misses this cozy scenery. She misses the scent of bitter coffees and freshly baked pastries. She misses the familiar lines of:

"What is your order ma'am?"

"That would be 150 pesos, ma'am."

She misses Richard. She misses his warm way of looking at her. She misses her gentle voice of talking to her. She misses his cute way of smile like a five-year old child. She misses his freshly made lattes. She misses his specially made drinks that he only did twice and they were very heaven-like delicious. She misses that anticipation of watching him from the back. She misses that sweet melody of nature that only plays when she is with him.

She misses every moment of being with him. She misses all that has him in it. Indeed, Richard has greatly affected her and she has no choice but to take the risk. That is what living is, right? There is no assurance of everything that is why taking risk can sometimes be a necessary. She prays that this act will be worth-it. She prays that Richard will not hurt her too. She prays that he feels the same way as she does. She prays for a happy ending that started as a sweet love story.

But the courage she carries over her shoulders drop instantly as soon as she stops at the front of the coffee shop and sees the sign of "SORRY, WE'RE CLOSE" hanging on the glass door. It feels like the whole world is sorry for her. Of all the days that this coffee shop decides to close for some maintenance, it has to be this day? The day when she decided to risk her feelings for Richard? It is not like she's gonna confess to the handsome barista but at least, she finally makes up her mind to stop avoiding him. Is this some kind of fate's conspiracy?

Nicomaine can't help but groan. For a moment, she thinks the white sign in bold red letters hanging on the coffee shop's door is a prank. Or maybe they'll gonna open the coffee shop a tad late. But the silence and the eerie air surrounding the once cozy and warm coffee shop shows no sign it'll be open for business today.

With a heavy heart, Nicomaine turns around and walks away.

She will be back, that's for sure.