The Beauty in Pain | Book One of In Pain Trilogy *EDITING*

40. Heart vs. Brain

"It's not what you think..."

"What was I thinking? How could I actually think you were over her? The girl who were this close to giving up the throne for. How foolish could I have been?"

"No, Mynera, no." He swooped in, desperate for her to look at him, for her to see the sincerity in his face. Some part of him always wondered if he still loved Charmaline, some part of him thought he did. But now, he knew Mynera was the only one in his heart and he had to let her see that. "No, Mynera, you're the only one. Please, you have to believe me."

"Believe that if she was still here, I wouldn't be in the picture? Face it, Saenar." Mynera wrenched herself out of his arms. Betrayal and hurt settled in the pit of her stomach. She thought, she hoped, he was over her, over the ghost that drifted over their heads. She foolish for thinking it. "You still love her."

"I don't!"

"Then why are you thinking about her?" she exclaimed. She stepped back again, when he stepped forward. "Why do you always mention her without realizing it? Why when you're with me, you're so reserved, yet you didn't hesitate to attack Charmaline's face with your father in the camp nearby?"

"Mynera, please..." Her heart broke at the pain in his voice but she could look at him. After all this time trying to ignore it, she couldn't anymore. Charmaline was his first and only love. Mynera was a rebound. It pained her but it was the only thing that felt like the truth through the all the rejection she felt.

"Mynera, please don't do this," he begged. She looked away at the raw emotion thick in his voice. "Please don't leave like this. I don't love her anymore, Mynera. Please you have to believe me."

She wanted to. It took everything in her not to run into his arms and never let go. But she didn't want to be made a fool either and she wasn't privy to having her heart broken more than once. Her head ducked as she skirted around him, making her way back to her luggage.

"I think you should leave," she whispered.

"Mynera..."

"Leave!"

She didn't look up when silence descended on them. She just stood there, frozen, waiting for him to leave the room. It took a while, her staring at her things, him staring at her. Then, he left and she sank to the ground. She didn't cry, but her heart did.

**

Saenar stood outside Mynera's door, his back resting against it. He waited to hear the tears, the heavy sobbing he was sure she was holding back. He was eager for it, for anything that would allow him to run back inside but they never came. No sobs, no sound. It made him sink to the ground, just sitting there.

Charmaline was dead. He had been telling himself that every second of the day. She was dead, but he couldn't move on. That memory of her was what held him back from the feisty brunette inside. The memory of his first love, gone so soon, was what stilled his hand whenever they itched to hold Mynera, or whenever his eyes burned to seek her.

That memory of her had to go. Mynera wasn't just a rebound. He never felt anything like this, not even with Charmaline, and he wasn't about to let it go. He waited too long to make his move, to let her know he loved her just as she loved him. While the words remained unsaid between them, the feeling was there and that was what mattered. He wasn't going to let it slip out his fingers. The happiness they've felt these past few days was happiness he was not about to let go.

Not for his dead lover.

**

Four months later