stop apologizing (camren)

one

The darkest shade of grey was splattered among the sky. The rain pouring down harder than ever before. And all Camila did was admire the view. Not from the safety of her own apartment, no. She sat on a wooden bench at a park near her building.

She crossed her legs underneath her and stared at a tree in the distance. She watched how the rain was creating puddles and how the sound of thunder and the bright flashes of lighting calmed her down. Camila inhaled and held her breath, before exhaling slowly. She continued the process over and over until her breathing calmed down.

Camila blinked slowly and sluggishly. Who waltzes out of their apartment at 2 in the morning to sit in the rain and catch a cold? The brunette smiles at nothing. She feels at peace. And it has been awhile since she felt that way. The cold droplets of water settles in her hair and seeped through her white tank top. Camila sat in the rain for an hour. She always cherished the rainy days. It rarely poured where she lived and she never wasted a single moment.

The loud patter echoes in her ears while she just sits, breathing in through her mouth.

Camila has always loved the rain. When she was younger, she would drag her mom outside and play in the rain. She would giggle for hours and jump and spin, getting soaked in the rain.

As years passed, she slowly stopped her little dances, one by one. At the age of 10 she stopped jumping at the sight of rain. She spun in the onslaught H20, for sure. The feeling of rain whacking her in the face was calming to the girl. Now at 15, she stopped the twirling. She noticed the rain and would drag her mother out to enjoy the water falling from the sky. But she didn't jump nor spin. She stood there and smiled, feeling the rain drops roll off her forehead.

Soon, she stopped dragging her birth giver outside and just stare out the window, in her house, where she could not get wet. And she didn't like it at all. Not one bit.

So for the first time in years, she finally gets to enjoy the feeling of the cold droplets of rain splatter across her body. Camila let out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding. Why have I stopped coming out into the rain in the first place, she thought.

After a while of just sitting and breathing in the fresh air, Camila stood up and walked sluggishly back to her apartment building.

The rain stopped pouring heavily and the brunette could only feel light droplets of water. The sky was still very dark and grey. Once she reached the old brick building, she halted in front of the entrance. Camila didn't want to go back to her apartment where she would be confined in such a small space. She wanted to get the fuck out of the little building and explore. But that would cost money, and Camila didn't have a lot of that.

She could wish though. She could dream of having enough money to afford a bigger apartment. She could dream of having enough money to get a bus ticket out of this hell hole she calls home. Camila didn't want anything more than to explore the world.

After a few moments of just standing and staring at absolutely nothing, she let out a sigh.

Camila reached and grasped at the back of her white tank top and yanked it off her cold body. Her small hands running through her wet hair a couple of times to get it out of her eyes. She started wringing her tank top and walked into the building. Camila started her way up the stairs, her white damp shirt on her shoulder while she lazily climbs up the flights of steps.

When the brunette reached her floor, she dragged her feet slowly down the halls.

Her sports bra annoyingly clung to her body, causing the area right under her breasts to itch. She scratched from time to time while making her way back to her humble abode. There was really nothing humble about it. The building reeked of weed and alcohol. The wallpaper falling off the walls. It never really was a pretty sight.