missing

      

                 CHAPTER 1

All I think about now is how to make that feeling go away. The feeling that I will never have a real mom again. My mom died when I was six. My dad had already left when he found out she was pregnant. It was pretty hard on my mom since she had just lost her job. I remember her singing but not very well she would always sing me this beautiful lullaby it went like this:

  " i will sleep with happiness

       joyfullness and love,

     yet you'll always know that momma

     loves you more than that

     she loves me to the moon and back

she loves me to infinity and beyond"

    Then she would tickle me and say " I love you, do you love me? "

Then I would say

"Mommy I love you to the moon and back with joyfullness and happiness

to infinity and beyond."

     I would always record that like she told me. It was like she knew what was going to happen. She probably did just didn't want to tell me considering I was only six. Maybe she didn't know and wanted me to always remember her somehow, if anything did happen.

I always wanted to find out who my father was. When i thought about him i would just call him it bacause

1: didnt know his name

2:really hated him

I always remember the times where I would think about it while i was cooking and I would "accidentaly" stab the chicken I was cooking.

When I was younger I was taken in by my Aunt Carol. She had two sons who liked to annoy me all the time. She treated me like her own daugter. That is if she treated me like anything. Aunt Carol was always working since she had three kids (including me) and her husband had left her as well. I think it just runs in the family to lose your husband because all of the women have, but aunt carol had a reason. Her husband didnt just walk out he was gone in a flick of the wrist. he died a long time ago. He died of cancer ( just like my momma ), but he wasnt as nice as momma. Momma would tuck me in. He would just scream from the living room ( while drinking his beer ) "night lilly , be asleep by ten o'clock or the vampires are gonna come suck your blood and the goblins are gonna stick warts on ya' face." I don't know why he would say that, because it just made me scared and want to jump out of bed. I would always say to Aunt Carol " I think those stupid beers gave him the cancer." She would say "probably" and walk away. You probably think that was rude, but I was seven and she didnt want to be the bad cop considering there was only one cop in the house. Which was her new boyfriend. He wasnt nice at all and he was always getting the boys in trouble, but Aunt Carol just didn't care, because she was so caught up in her work. She was still better than her boyfriend Hudson.