Ayano's Theory Of Happiness

Chapter 6 [Shinatro’s POV]

Although these floating days keep repeating, whenever the cheerful girl that always was here on time was absent, it gave me an uncomfortable feeling. Well, anyway, my test results are returned tomorrow they probably won’t be any better either. I thought grimly, as the door opened and walked in the girls who hung around Ayano, were now crying and one was holding flowers. My eyes widened in realization as I glanced at the vacant seat next to me.

Days went passed in a blur, and somewhere in these non-hectic days, something might have already gone wrong. I slouched in my chair ‘the colour of your hair… your smile…’ I thought as I imagined Ayano, some people might’ve already forgotten them already. I glanced at the flowerpot that was placed next to me, some of the flowers had wilted and the petals lay scattered on the desk undisturbed.

I started to remember days with Ayano:

On a scrap of paper that showed a perfect 100% while grinning shyly, you sat in the chair next to me, you the one with the low scores. I turned my attention back to the teacher, outside the window, there was nothing I wished for, because I already know what will happen. The girl next to me stood out of her seat, holding out a paper origami bird, as I looked at it she said; “Hey, if that's how it is, then that's really boring.” You always seemed cheerful, as you smiled at me and I looked back plainly. That was before I knew some of your smiles and cheerfulness were fake.

Don't touch.

The heart that wants to disappear any more than this, today it can’t be found anywhere on this earth.

The alarm that starts ringing says to the alone me that sits on my bed: “You’re a cold hearted-fool” even if I’m told a miracle answer it’s no use because everything will because obvious, I thought as I ripped up my test sheet. “If I died right now, someone will replace me…” even just muttering those words, is so foolish.

Sitting at the tree and her finding me there, she seemed like a stalker to me but I didn’t mind I guess. Scolding you when you had low scores when we had tests.

Ayano always seemed to be in my life somehow, all those times when I scolded her for getting low on an easy test, or when I was walking alone in the cold and her coming behind me and wrapping her bright red scarf around my neck surprising me, and she just smiled. But when I finally stop the call, I’m forced to notice that everything is gone.

Looking down at my sheet I clutched my test.

Even though I tried to get to know you, there wasn't even one thing that I wasn't able to solve. Slamming my hands on my desk, I rushed out of the classroom and I started to look for her. Ending up on the roof. The heart that wants to escape the classroom is hurt. The heart that jumped out and died. I hold out one of the origami birds she had made me and glance up and look at the ledge.

There sitting undisturbed was the test sheet I had ripped remade as an origami bird, gulping I remembered her smile and single tear left my eyes and travelled down my face. Gently I placed my origami bird next to it and turned to leave.

"Guess I died and I'm so sorry, goodbye's to sad a way to lonely..." was a whispered voice, cheerful yet somehow sad.

In the classroom the heart that wants to disappear was hurt,
You kept hiding it over and over again behind a smile.
The smile of you, who flew through this window and died,
I won't ever forget it.
Not even tomorrow.

I would never admit how much I liked you… even though you annoyed me sometimes and always seemed to follow me… I had grown attached to you…