(Relieved that he hasn’t had a brain embolism, Sherlock slowly turns his head and looks at Irene again. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he applies all his deductive reasoning as she smiles confidently back at him, and he quickly comes to the following conclusion:
???????
He frowns.)
IRENE: D’you know the big problem with a disguise, Mr. Holmes?
(He quirks an eyebrow at her.)
IRENE: However hard you try, it’s always a self-portrait.
SHERLOCK: You think I’m a vicar with a bleeding face?
IRENE: No, I think you’re damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case, it’s yourself.
(Finally fed up with the tightness of his shirt, Sherlock starts unbuttoning the top two buttons. Irene leans forward.)
IRENE: Oh, and somebody loves you. Why, if I had to punch that face, I’d avoid your nose and teeth too.
(She glances across to John momentarily. John forces a laugh.)
JOHN: Could you put something on, please? Er, anything at all. (He looks down at what he’s holding.) A napkin.
IRENE: Why? Are you feeling exposed?
SHERLOCK (standing up): I don’t think John knows where to look.
(He picks up his coat, shakes it out and holds it out to Irene. Ignoring him for the moment, she stands up and walks closer to John, who rolls his head on his neck uncomfortably and forces himself to maintain eye contact with her and not to let his eyes wander lower.)
IRENE: No, I think he knows exactly where.
(She turns to Sherlock who is still holding out the coat while steadfastly keeping his gaze averted.)
IRENE (taking the coat from him): I’m not sure about you.
SHERLOCK: If I wanted to look at naked women I’d borrow John’s laptop.
JOHN: You do borrow my laptop.
SHERLOCK: I confiscate it.
(He walks over to the fireplace opposite the sofa.)
IRENE (putting the coat on and wrapping it around her): Well, never mind. We’ve got better things to talk about. Now tell me – I need to know.
(She walks over to the sofa and sits down.)
IRENE: How was it done?
SHERLOCK: What?
IRENE (taking her shoes off): The hiker with the bashed-in head. How was he killed?
(The boys look confused.)
SHERLOCK: That’s not why I’m here.
IRENE: No, no, no, you’re here for the photographs but that’s never gonna happen, and since we’re here just chatting anyway ...
JOHN: That story’s not been on the news yet. How do you know about it?
IRENE: I know one of the policemen. Well, I know what he likes.
JOHN: Oh. (He sits down beside her.) And you like policemen?
IRENE: I like detective stories – and detectives. Brainy’s the new sexy.
SHERLOCK (incoherently): Positionofthecar ...
(John turns his head and stares at him as he pulls himself together.)
A Scandal in Belgravia - PART 2
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