A/N: talk about eating disorders if you are easily triggered please dont read. Xoxo
Black sweatpants, black hoodies and black converse, that's all you every wore in an attempt to hide the body that you desperately tried to get rid of.
The one that you were so ashamed to call your own that you wore anything and everything that could hide your body.
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"Y/N" - Josh said "Hurry up"
You and Josh had been friends since 3rd grade he was always there for you and you were always there for him you knew you could trust him but you never told him about your eating disorder.
"I'm coming" you yell from the top of the steps. What to wear? what to wear? you quietly say to your self while tearing off your clothes from the hanger trying to find one that would hide your body the best.
Finally you went with a pair of black leggings and an oversized nirvana hoodie.
"Come on!!" Josh yelled "Tyler and Jenna are waiting for us"
"Im coming" you say as you race down the stairs to catch up with Josh who is already in the car
"Why are you wearing that, it's like 70° out" Josh said slightly confused
"I'm cold" You lied, you knew you weren't cold but you were too ashamed of the body you had,
"Okay!?" Josh said as he sighed to himself.
"Oh hey guys" Jenna said while giving you two are big hug.
"Tyler, Josh and Y/N are here"
You and Josh sat on the couch in the centre of Tyler's brightly lit living room.
"This 'party' isn't very big" you say.
"yeah," Josh replies "Tyler is picky about who goes to his parties"
Tyler, Jenna and a handful of other friends sit with you and Josh, Tyler is playing video games with Josh while you catch up with Jenna? then Tyler offers some nachos and guac, you knew you shouldn't have any put you say yes, you didn't want to seem rude so you grabbed a few.
I'll be right back you say as you excuse your self from the hangout session.
//In the bathroom//
Why did I eat that? you say to yourself, ugh I'm such a pig this is why I'm not pretty or skinny
you had bulimia since you were 11 and at 17 it was still with you, there was no there choice than to throw up.
Slowly you shove your fingers down your throat going deeper and deeper in a desperate attempt to rid your body of the food that you believed would soon make you fat.
You purged and purged until nothing was left but blood.
Blood was in your mouth and around the toilet you grew slightly concerned and backed away from the toilet.
You cleaned up your mess, popped a few mints in your mouth and headed downstairs.
You quietly sat downstairs and continued on like nothing happened.
"Hey Josh" you say quietly not wanting anyone to hear, "I'm not feeling well, can we go back to your place". "Ty, me and Y/N are gonna head to my place" Josh says
"why so early?" Tyler asks, "Y/N isn't feeling well", "Okay, see ya later bud, bye, Y/N, feel better".
"Thanks Ty" you say as you and Josh head out the door.
//In the Car/
"Y/N are you okay?" Josh asks slightly concerned,
"I'm alright" you say while shrugging the question off "nothing to worry about".
Once you get home you lie on his couch exhausted from the walk to his house.
Your eyes bloodshot, hands shaking no matter how hard you try to make them stop.
"Y/N I really don't think you're okay I'm getting really concerned you don't look well and you keep on shaking" Josh said looking at you eyes big with a worried expression on his face,
"Josh, I'm okay, I think I'm just cold and tired" you say, struggling with each word
"I'll get you some blankets" Josh says as he rushes to get you blankets.
You closed your eyes and slept or so you thought, you actually passed out your body wasn't able to function with nothing to keep it running.
"Hey Y/N, here's your blanket" Josh said.
When he looked at you, you were pale as snow, looking so fragile lips pale and purple, Something wasn't right and he knew you weren't okay
As the sense of concern was growing inside him, he tried to wake you up doing anything and everything he could think of.ř
"Y/N WAKE UP!!!" He said panicked and shaking you in a desperate attempt to wake you up.
Josh clearly panicked not knowing what to do calls Tyler,
"Ty" Josh said with stress and panic clear in his voice,
"Y/N went to sleep, and now I can't get her to wake up and I think something is really wrong, she's pale as snow and her lips are now a dark shade of purple, I dont think she is okay and im dont know what to do.
"Josh", Tyler said clearly understanding the severity of the situation "Take her to the hospital clearly something is really wrong"
Picking her up Josh rushes to the car and floors it to the emergency.
*At the Hospital*
//Josh's POV//
The wait to find out what happened and what is wrong with Y/N is killing me, she is more then just a friend to me, we've known each other for soo long and it can't just end here.
A doctors came to me and asked if I was Joshua. I said yes and immediately stood up from my seat eager to find out what happened?
"Well," the doc said "Her blood sugar, and pulse were extremely low and we noticed a burn in her throat commonly found in victims of bulimia"
Bulimia?clearly sounding confused
"it's an eating disorder" the doc informs "where victims throw up what they eat?"
"Does she have an eating disorder?"
"We believe so", Said the Doc "and we think it's been prevalent for quite sometime".
"How come she didn't tell me?" I mumble to myself, unexpectedly the doc answers. "Often times eating disorder victims are ashamed and telling someone often means treatment and treatment can be scary to them". "I guess I understand" I say
"All you can do Is support her and be comfort her as the road to recovery is up to her"
"Thanks Doc" I say "Am I able to see her"
"Sure thing" she's as she walks me to Y/N room.
*Y/N POV*
"Y/N, are you okay"
The voice sounded familiar but you weren't quite sure who it was
"Y/N?, it's Joshua",
"Hi Josh" weak and struggling to talk with each word and each breath incredibly difficult.
"Y/N thank goodness you're okay, you had me worried sick" He says, "How come you didn't tell me?" He said Sounding slight hurt.
"I was too ashamed about it I didn't think you'd understand"
"Of course I'd understand" he said "I'm always here for you and you can tell me anything".
"Thanks Josh" you say trying not to lose your breath
"I love you Y/N and never forget that" you could tell he was a little worried by the tone of his voice
"Josh" you say "Don't worry I'll be alright, I love you and thanks for always understanding".
