Chapter 13 - Noelle

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It's been months since I've really talked to anyone in my hometown.

I opened my eyes and proceeded to stare at the patterns of the white ceiling. A new start doesn't always mean the bad thoughts erase from your mind.

A fresh life. A place where no one knew my dirty past. Everyone was so welcoming; so why the hell did I still feel so alone? And another thing I ask myself: how did I end up getting this bad?

The leaves fell from the trees like teardrops. The chilly weather comforted me, for now I had a real reason to cover my porcelain skin in clothing to hide scars that tell stories. I think that I may or may not love someone. Tons of friends. New boyfriend. Nominated for homecoming court. Already, I had pushed people away from me. Words were stained in the back of my mind. Sure, things at my new school were decent. But home life? That's another story.

I put in my earbuds just as I begin to hear the first screams of a fight coming from my parents' room. Divorce is such a nasty, dreaded word. I suffocate my face in my pillow and let out a shuddering breath. Thoughts of the future swarm my mind and I feel an on-coming migraine. My future looks like a lot of tears and a new, shitty apartment that I will soon call my home. Standing up too fast, black dots cover my eyes. I sit back down until I can see clearly again. Searching desperately for my razor blade; I knew I would cave in again. I drag the blade across my wrist, and close my eyes. When I open my eyes, I see little red dots bubbling up from under my skin. I roll my sleeve back down, and start to get ready for another exhausting school day. 

It has been too hard to keep breathing.

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