How to Lose a Bet and End Up Winning (ON HOLD)

Chapter 2

I was going to kill Sean. Correction, I would have all of my brothers doing hours, in the hot sun, while I sat under an umbrella with a fan and sipped my housekeeper's famous iced sweet tea and watched them train. They would be green with envy; even North was fond of Miss Denice's sweet tea. After that, they would all be on boring surveillance jobs for the next month. God, I might even dig up that jock from the Ashley Waters assignment who talked in the third person for them to listen to. Regardless, Sean and the rest of my brothers were going to pay for this.

But first I had to correct this grave misunderstanding.

GreyLover: I can assure you, miss, that I am not into BDSM either.

MyFriendSignedMeUpForThis: Then why have GreyLover as your username?

GL: See your username and you'll know why mine is the way it is.

MFSMUFT: I'm not sure I would call that person your friend.

GL: Sadly, not only is he my best friend, but my brother as well.

MFSMUFT: Well, I guess you can't choose who you're related to.

GL: You can't choose who you are related to by blood, but you can choose who you consider to be family. Family is always a choice.

MFSMUFT: Interesting concept.

GL: May I ask you a question?

MFSMUFT: Sure....

GL: If your friend signed you up for this, why are you still answering chat requests? Wouldn't it be easier to just ignore everything?

MFSMUFT: If only it worked like that. I promised that I would go on a date a week for the next two months. If I don't, she has the right to pick my next year's worth of dates.

GL: Interesting. I am in a similar situation. I lost a bet and my brothers created my profile.

MFSMUFT: Oh thank heaven. You're not really a creep.

GL: I had said earlier that my friend signed me up for this as well. Did that not assure you of my upstanding citizen status?

MFSMUFT: Hah! Not at all. But losing a bet makes too much sense to be a lie. Besides, who would admit to losing a bet?

GL: Fair enough, miss.

MFSMUFT: May I ask you a question?

GL: It is only fair.

MFSMUFT: If you didn't lose the bet, would you be talking to me right now?

It would be easier to lie to her, but something compelled me to tell the truth.

GL: It is unlikely that we would be conversing. I would most likely be working or checking the stock markets.

MSFMUFT: Then I'm glad you lost the bet. I must be off. Have a goodnight, GreyLover. Don't let your friend tie you down with a bad date. Or let your date tie you up for that matter.

I had to chuckle at her humor. Sean may have momentarily embarrassed me, but this was a fun and mostly harmless encounter.

GL: Goodnight, MyFriendSignedMeUpForThis. Don't let your friend sign you up for a bad date either.

MFSMUFT is no longer available to chat.

Now that I had cleared up the confusion about my sexual tendencies, it was time to get back to the task at hand—making my brothers pay.

The first task: innocent usernames, such as BlueGreekOcean and GingerNinja, had to go. Replacements were needed immediately. My criminal brothers would be incarcerated with terrible usernames. A few minutes later had me smirking at the names on the computer screen. Take that, boys!

OneEyedPurpleMonster

MrBlueBalls

OrangeJumpsuit

RedRashScratcher

TightyWhiteyWearer

BlackDeathCarrier

GreenBoogerPicker

OneBabyBlueLineOrTwo

Supremely pleased with my efforts in retaliation, I continued to peruse the offerings for potential dates for my brothers. Knowing my brothers, they would each pick someone far more suited to themselves than suited to me. And in a way, they would be right. Anyone I would seriously date would have to get along with my brothers. It would be essential to the survival of our family. The problem is, that while I loved my brothers, I had absolutely no desire to date them.

Perhaps then I should find someone like me for them to date. No, they enjoyed my company or at least I assumed they did. That would be far too easy for them. I would have to dig deeper for horrible date candidates.

As I continued to look over suggestions for my brothers, I had to wonder if everyone had their friend pick their username. How else does one explain "MurielTheSlipperyMermaid" or "KinkyKayli"? Who would honestly pick these names for oneself?

Looking at the time, I realized that I had spent the last 3 hours on this insufferable website. The strange part was that I actually enjoyed myself. Deciding that I would pick up the hunt again tomorrow, I made my way to bed.

The next morning, I was surprised to find a message notification on my account.

MFSMUFT: Did your friend pick a date for you yet?

GL: Thankfully, I am still date free at the moment.

MFSMUFT: I hate to break it to you, but it won't be like that for long.

GL: Unfortunately, you are correct. Did you find this week's victim to appease your end of the bargain?

MFSMUFT: No, and I only have thru this evening to at least set up this week's date.

A brilliant idea struck me, and I could only hope that she would go for it.

GL: I have a proposition for you.

MFSMUFT: *laughs* You really haven't read that book, have you?

GL: Of course I haven't! Why in the world do you ask?

MFSMUFT: Well, then you have inadvertently quoted it. *giggles*

GL: *scoffs* Remind me to kill my best friend.

MFSMUFT: Well, now that that's all cleared up. What did you want to ask?

GL: How would you like to help me get back at my brothers and fulfil your obligation to your friend?

MFSMUFT: Are they creepy like you as well?

GL: I personally think so.

MFSMUFT: Then count me in.

GL: Wonderful. Your first target is username GreenBoogerPicker.

MFSMUFT: Why in the world would I agree to a date someone who uses picking their nose as a username?

GL: I selected his name. After the GreyLover incident, his GreenHobbitHill was far too nice.

MFSMUFT: *giggles* And I thought your friend was harsh. You're evil.

GL: All's fair in love and war.

MFSMUFT: I take it that this is war?

GL: Yes, soldier.

MFSMUFT: *salutes* Now, tell me what I need to know about our first target.

Oh Mr. Lee, you won't know what hit you.