WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE.
Meet Ken. Just your pretty crazy, insanely intelligent, athletic, bipolar celebrity. His good ol'e friends, The Businessman, Mr. Mystery, and Ms. Classy. Find out how one day can ruin the entire universe.
He was just chillin', in the year of 2014. Of course, due to the alternate reality, this time was very different. U.S. government money wasn't totally decimated by the attacks (also, some natural disasters didn't even happen). Being the only time traveller, besides Ken, he obviously knew something was up.
Mr. Mystery, well, he could definitely be considered a shady guy. He is going to become a drug trafficker in the future! But, he had a few perks (not those kind of perks you pervs!). He had the ability to read minds and bridge time lines. He rarely used the latter without Ken, as merging universes proved to be catastrophic. But there was one problem. The method of T.T. he learned, altered the current timeline, and didn't create a new one. What did that prove? That without a backup timeline, he was screwed. But, because of his power to bridge timelines, he often partnered with Ken. It was a perfect match. They were even able to kill someone by teleporting them into a solid object! It, however, almost destroyed the Earth in a few THOUSAND terajoules of energy, by the means of Hawking Radiation. But, anyways, he received a Trans-Fourth-Dimensional shortwave call from Mr. Seamore, himself!
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"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo."
*Ken Activates Fiction Generator "Well, I just happen to have that exact Navy Seal right here..."
The Fiction Generator can create any object from existing matter and instantly generate it, as long as it obeys the laws of physics in the current residing universe.
"God damn, I forgot about that. Alright! I give!"
"Well anyways, I got attacked by some drugged pervert on the main entrance of my ship. And, while distracted, some future hackers disabled by chronal stablizer, because as you know, I messed up once before, and almost terminated the Fourth Dimension. I'm going to need your help. Infiltrate the Underground EQS Vault. You will need to steal an access card, as unfortunately, I'm missing the Master Access Code. I'm adding this location to your map. Since the 4th Dimension is experiencing high interference, all further communications will have to be done with variable frequencies. Unless you have a time machine that won't destroy the world."
