Author's Note: Hey guys! So I know I have been on somewhat of a writing hiatus but now I'm back! School and work have been kicking my butt this semester and I'm like barely home. I also switched jobs so I'm not even able to be on my phone as much either. It also doens't help that I haven't been inspired lately but I've have gotten my inspiration back so I hope you enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it! I hope to upload weekly and maybe even biweekly. If you like my story or have any advice, please feel free to vote and comment!!!
Chapter 1: 6 years ago
"So, my job is making me move to India." He whispered as he continued to drive on the wet rode. I didn't respond, there were no words to describe the sudden aching in my heart. I was happy for him, yes, but it's not every day your best friend tells you that they are moving to another freaking country.
I finally looked over at him, his face focused on the rode. So that's what this hang out time was for, I thought to myself. "That's amazing, Dean! I'm so happy for you. I know how much you wanted to get out of this town and travel. Now your dreams of becoming an world-renown director can finally come true!' I replied, though deep down inside my heart was breaking. Will I ever get my happy ending?
I know it's very selfish of me to be thinking about that when he just told me that his life was about to drastically change but here's the thing. I'm twenty-one and I have never been a relationship. Dean was the first guy who ever expressed interest in persuing even a friendship with me and therefore over time, we became very close. It's just that, he gets me. We have been through so much together and always have great conversations. We have so much in commin and he is focused and successful, which I admire so much about him.
But I know he does not feel the same way about me. He has admited several times that we were just friends. It doesn't help any that he has been hooked on my best friend Emily since we were all in highschool. She never paid him any attention, though so he finally gave up on her. He had it bad, too. I was actually surprised that he decided that she was not the one for him especially after all of his years of crushing on her. It frustrated me so much that she did not realize how good she had it. She was just too insecure in her own life to reach out and start dating as well. She said she wasn't ready, which I guess I could understand but it still frustrated me.
"Cut the crap, Addie, I know you don't mean that." He replied more harshly than ever. I was stunned at his roughness. He has never talked to me that way before.
We drove in silence for a good fifteen minuets until I couldn't take it any more and asked, "When will you be moving?"
"In about two weeks." He bluntly replied.
"Why are you being like this, Dean? Aren't you supposed to be happy about it?" I asked.
He didn't answer my question. He continued to drive in silence. He was never like this. He was always so cheerful and friendly. It's like new information changed him completely. I mean I guess I would be like this too if my job had me move away from the only life I have known and take me away from the people I love. But times are tough and a job is a job.
We finally pulled up to my house. I looked over at him and reached out to touch him, hoping to comfort him. He still hadn't said anything as he looked over in my direction. "I guess I'll see you when I see you."
I looked at him confused and somewhat annoyed. Was that really how he wanted to end the evening? It's not my fault that he is mad so why is he taking all of his frustration out on me?
"Well, I hope you have a swell time in India, Dean!" I said as I shut the door with as much force without actually slamming it. I didn't even care that it was raining. I ran to my the front door of my house, unlocked it and shut it quickly.
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Being the only one at home, I allowed my tears to fall.
Why was everything ripped away from me? My mom had just recently passed away, my friends have all moved on, and here I was just waiting for something in my life to change and yet now it felt like everything was falling backwards.
I hadn't really realized that I had feelings for Dean until just recently. We have been friends for about three good years now and have become extremely close. I tell him things I would never tell Emily. We connect in such a way that I have never connected with anyone, much less a guy before and there are so many things that I admire about him.
I guess I was waiting for him to admit that he was over Emily before allowing myself to even think about him in that way. He had said that him being so interested in her was like a burden and now that he was finally set free from it that he could finally live.
He would always talk about getting married and finding his soul mate and having a daughter. Every time we hung out his little comments about such things always made my heart flutter but I would always push it to the side, reminding myself that his heart was forever set on Emily. It's almost as if I was everything he wanted but he wasn't seeing what was right in front of him all along.
I have always been one to shy away from admitting my feelings to others, especially guys. I guess since I never felt good enough for anyone I never allowed myself to grow close to a guy because they usually only want one thing. There were so many times when I almost admited how I felt to Dean but never followed through because I didn't want to reuin our friendship. I always tend to play life safe, which annoys me so much and I regret that aspect of my personality or whatever, but it's apart of me that I have not been able to change.
I cried myself to sleep that night. Even when my mother passed away not too long ago, it didn't hurt this much. It was like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. It was during that hurt when I realized that I was in love with my best friend and he was moving to another country and there was nothing I could do about it.
