Dean's Prov:
My boss told me I was moving to India just yesterday. I was extrememly happy about the opportunity but it just did not feel like the right time. To other's the opportunity made perfect sense; I was young and just now starting my carrier in the film industry. I had my whole life ahead of me and what a great way to start fresh than to move to another country?
I told my boss I would think about it and let him know tomorrow. If I didn't take the job, I would be stuck in the same possition that I was in now, which was just editing films and picking up small photoshoot gigs here and there. My dream was to advance and hopefully become a director one day. My boss said that they wanted me to help film a movie in India and take footage of their stay. Appearantly in India, film was quickly developing and was a great place to go in order to experience what I needed to experience if I wanted to make any type of head way in this industry. Of course he said that it was an once in a life time opportunity and if I agreed to take up his offer, then I would be moving in less than two weeks.
Driving home, I thought about it over and over again. I started thinking about my family, my friends, the band at church, and then my thoughts somehow ended up thinking about Addie. Thinking about her made my heart flutter and ache all at the same time. She had lost so many people in her life recently, she needed someone and I just recently admitted to myself that I wanted to be that person. Over the past couple of weeks, it's almost as if I was seeing her for the first time. Her sadness became my sadness. For whatever reason, it's like something changed inside of me and all I can think about is Addie. She was constantly on my mind and I couldn't help but think about how my decision would effect her.
Being so hooked on Emily all of these years, I never even considered thinking about Addie in that way. But recently, I began to notice little things about Addie that I loved. To start off, she was beautiful. Yes she was short, but her short statue made me even want to protect her even more. She was small but had curves in the most perfect places. And those brown eyes, pulled me in every time. I know I shouldn't be thinking about her in that way, being my best friend and all, but I couldn't help but allow my thoughts to wonder in that direction.
We had planned to hang out tonight. It was kind of perfect seeing as tonight would have been the night that I would break the knews to her. I know she was going to take the knews the hardest. I know she has had feelings for me, but I have just been too blinded by Emily that I hadn't noticed until now. I smiled at the thought. She thought she was so good at hiding her feelings, but I can read her like up a book now.
----
Pulling up to her house at around 6:30, my heart beat picked up immensely as I saw her walk out. My jaw literally dropped as I studied her figure. Why had I not noticed her before? The maroon dress she wore accentuated her figure perfectly and complented her complection to make her look almost glowing. She looked beautiful in her marroon dress and her dark blue sweater. She didn't even have to try that hard, she just naturally looked beautiful.
She smiled and waved at me as I got out to open the passenger door for her. We haven't been able to hang out in a couple of weeks due to both of our work schedules so I was actually real excited about this evening.
"I'm so glad we finally get to hang, it's been forever!" She admited happily.
I smiled over at her, "Yeah, me too."
----
I had had the most fun that I ever remember having that evening. It was like she had come alive again and was her true self. That's one thing I appreciated about Addie, she was always joyful and never complained. She was also very patient and carred about minor details of my life. We were comfortable around each other and I hope she felt safe around me. I know I coult tell her anything and that was one thing that I treasured most about our friendship.
During the movie I must admit that I probably paid more attention to her than I actually did the movie, which was very rare for me. Movies were my life so to be distracted by her really meant that she had quickly become someone special to me. I smiled as the thought of her being someone special crossed my thoughts.
As the movie ended and we were settled back in my car heading back to her place, I could tell that the mood of the evening was changing. She was more quiet than before and I think she sensed that something was up.
"Dean, is everything ok?" Her soft voice asked me. I was extremely stunned by her observation. It's true, I had not been myself that evening. I was so stressed about my job that I did not engage as much with her as I normally did.
I turned to look at her and my thoughts suddenly saddened. I began to get frustrated at life and how it all seemed to be working out yet falling apart at the same time.
Just as I'm about to make a huge life altering decision, I finally see Addie for the first time. All of that time I wasted on Emily could have been spent with Addie. I began to get frustrated with myself, angry even.
I finally had enough courage to tell her the truth and I could tell she was faking her excitement for me.
I covered up my insecurities by lashing out at Addie. I know I hurt her but I couldn't allow my heart to break again, so I tried to distance myself. I didn't want my heart broken again.
