Forever

2

The alarm clock rang to early. My head is hurting like hell and I press the covers to my face. My heart feels like it's gone. Like it just disappeared and I'm living in loneliness and fear. I can't go to that dreadful place, the cause of him leaving the cause for his misunderstanding the cause for our love gone. I have no choice but pretend my life is great.

Suicide has been an option but it's sad how much hope I still have in us that it scares me to think what if we did end up getting back together. 
I'm a coward

I take a look and it's time to get out of bed. Weakness takes over me as I try to get myself ready and I glance to my night stand to see a picture of us leaning on the wall. 
Tyler.  My life
Tears fall to the ground but they aren't of any use anymore . 

When I'm done I stare at my reflection my eyes aren't bright anymore and I look tired and wasted. Going down the stairs takes effort but I manage anyway. I wave at my mom  " good bye sweetie have a good day" she says with a smile. I just manage to nod and close the door behind me. Our parents don't know. We kept it like this so every morning his mom picks me up to go to the dreaded place. As she pulls up on the driveway I can see him in the front seat his hair neatly placed like always and I can feel those beautiful eyes on me as I move to open the door. " good morning darling " his mom says cheerfully. 
If only she knew.

I can smell the cologne I gave him and all I want to do is press my head in his chest and take him all in. Take in what is mine. What belongs to me and has always belonged to me. But I don't budge a bit. I pray for him not to turn around and see me like this but he does and my heart melts. I can see every bit of his soul of who he is, I see the boy I love. He tells me it hurts him to see me like this. He wouldn't have to see me like this if he hadn't left if he had just stayed to figure things out. But some things can't be fixed he says.