Razors to Pens, Skin to Paper

Self Hate

Self hate

Can you relate

Why can't anyone just appreciate

All that I've done or continue to do

The sole fact that I do honestly care for you

I try to be happy but it's all a fake

It's just me trying to ease the heartache

My smile, it's just a mask

To hide my true feelings from anyone who asks

I fucking hate you, I fucking hate me

Why can't we all eat bullets and die merrily

I can't believe that I've sunken this far

Can't believe that my wish is getting hit by a car

Or a slit to the wrist in the hot water shower

At least then I won't hate to sit there and cower

Hide from my demons and hide from she

Who smiles at my sufferings gleefully

"Why can't you jump? Why can't you just die?

You know everyone will be happier once you say goodbye"

It's not true, I am loved, what you say is not

But fighting with her, the bitch from hell, it doesn't ease my stomach in knots

To feel so much calmness when I slice open my wrist

Will I ever be loved knowing it's a razor I kissed?

Our demons are inside of us,

It's us we must fight

But I'm beginning to think I will loose tonight.

To submit to the magic the razor performs

The silver that paints red all over my form

The scars that implore to be reopen

The promise of 'no more' has been broken

And God's next angel has been chosen

Thanks to self-hate, from there it was woven.