One Day (John Lennon)

can he find meaning

He hadn't noticed Carolyn had come back, but she had brought another bottle of beer that he happily took from her. She was speaking to him and petting his arm, but he couldn't help his burning eyes from wandering back to the small girl. His cigarette had turned to nothing and he threw it into a nearby ashtray. She smiled again as the boy cracked a joke, and she hid the beautiful smile that was too familiar to John with her hand; she always thought she looked obnoxious when she laughed, and he never understood why. And it hurt him. His hands felt hot and his heart was pounding, his eyes burning, but he wouldn't dare let himself shut them, knowing perfectly well what would happen.

The girl beside him grabbed his chin, making him look down and sniff slightly, but he met her eyes shortly after. She asked if there was anything wrong with him, but he just said he was fine. She brought her lips to his, but he only lightly kissed her back. When he backed his head away she looked at him funny, and he shook his head.

"You're drunk," he murmured.

"Ssso are you," she chuckled as she grabbed at his shirt collar. He was stunned when she slammed her lips on his again. He shut his eyes, his libido thinking for him, and kissed her back, his hands slipping to her waist. When he felt her hands slide to his hair, he opened his eyes and sat back. She started kissing his neck, and he looked back at the soft girl in the corner of the room.

He wondered how she hadn't seen him...or maybe she just didn't want to. He stood up, causing the girl to fall back onto the couch, and straightened himself out. He drank more beer and headed for the door. He saw her eyes fall on him, but he made his eyes stay on his shoes as he walked out.

The air outside was just as chilly as before. He wasn't sure how long he was in there, forgetting who even asked him to go. He placed his almost empty bottle on a window ledge as he fought to find his cigarettes again. The small brown stick struck against the window ledge as the cold air gave John a chill. The warm light in front of his face made him look into the window, seeing the room he was just in. He saw her again, though she didn't know he could. She was looking down at the floor, her lips slightly parted as her eyes darted around, as if she was reading the floor. She was thinking; the only thing on her mind was John's face. She hadn't noticed William leaning over to kiss her. Her eyes hardly shut as she lightly kissed him back. She excused herself to go to the bathroom, but when she stood up she saw the tall boy smoking near the window. He had watched the interaction between them and walked away from the window before it was over. He was leaning on the fence that hugged the small walkway to the door. He didn't know she saw him outside, so was entirely surprised when her blonde hair emerged from the door. He took a sip as smoke fled his nose; she was slipping her arms through her thin jacket.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked softly.

"What are you doing out here? It's cold, plus you left all your lovely friends," he nodded at the window. She rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to be a jerk, I came to talk to you," she shook her head, regretting getting herself into this.

He scoffed. "Now why would you do somethin stupid as that love?"

"Do you always have to drink yourself into a mess?" She looked at him with pity. He looked at her angrily, but wanted to fall to the ground.

He shrugged, taking another drag.

"What else do ya want me to do Lo? I'm pretty fucked up y'know, you said it yaself," he said as he pointed to his head, liquid spilling out of the bottle in his hand.

She shook her head again. "Don't call me Lo," she spoke lowly.

He rolled his eyes. "Why not? Bring back too many memories?" he asked as he stepped closer to her. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me Lo? I can't close my eyes for one bloody second without thinking about ya," he spat as he flicked his cigarette to the ground. She sucked in her lips and looked away from him.

"Don't ignore it Penelope, it's right in fucking front a ya," he spoke louder this time. His eyes began to get watery as she backed away from him.

"What do you want me to say to you John?"

"What the fuck'd you come out here to say?"

"I just wanted to know that...you were okay," her arms crossed over her chest.

He laughed. "Do I look okay? What do you think?" He went to drink from the bottle again, but she ripped it out of his hand. His eyes were red, tired and hurt.

"John, just go home," she whispered........