Half of a Love Story.

Diary Entry Four.

| | DIARY ENTRY FOUR | |

 

IF MY DAUGHTER was here then she would know what to do. If my wife was here then she would know what to do. But neither of them were here, so that meant that I didn't know what to do.

Blood was oozing out of the cut on my hand which had appeared while I was trying to cut a tomato. I couldn't cook to save my life so I was lucky that my wife and daughter were such great cooks. And that meant that I never had to cook. But I was helpless now when neither of them were around anymore.

Isn't it such a sad thing when parents outlive their children?

After poorly bandaging my injured hand, I gave up on making dinner and just headed to bed early. Taking out my new favourite book before bed, I started to read.

 

| | 3RD MARCH 2013 | |

"You are totally unaware of the effect you have on me."

A little bit more paint to his hair. A couple more strokes and then I would be able to move on to his face.

I was in my studio. I was working on his portrait. I had some free time today so I thought I would come here for a bit. I could paint some or even start a new painting. I told myself that I could spend some time talking to Nigel. It would pass some time and Nigel's a great guy.

Well... that was I was repeatedly telling myself.

I needed some space. I needed some air. That was my ulterior motive but I was just trying to convince myself otherwise.

I guess what I really needed was to get away from the real world for a bit where everyone has someone and just think.

It had been a month since Noah and Taylor had gotten together. Things were going great and I was really happy for both of them. They are always together, doing things together. They're always calling each other or just looking at each other.

Taylor's always coming over to the apartment to be with Noah. She's always around. Not that I mind or anything. She's great and fun to be around. She's funny and generous. She's nice and very considerate. She's beautiful and blonde.

She was perfect.

No wonder Noah liked her so much.

It was hard to be around them all the time. They're always together nowadays. They're always at our apartment. It's hard to see them together all the time. When I look at them they're hugging, or flirting or just simply doing things together. And I have to be there at the apartment and watch them get along great.

I have no choice but to be around them most of the day and I can't help but wish that it was me. I can't help but wish it was that Noah was hugging, or flirting with or even simply doing things together. I can't help but wish that I was the one that Noah liked.

I needed some space. From Noah and from Taylor. From both of them. They're a great couple and I love Taylor already but, it's hard to see them together all the time.

She's always over so it doesn't feel like our apartment anymore. I live there too so I feel like the third wheel all the time. I can't speak to Noah like I could before. He just simply doesn't have enough time for me. Sometimes, I would wish that Taylor wouldn't come round so that Noah and I could just sit down and talk. It seems that I'm just becoming even more selfish and selfish by the day.