How Did We Get Here? [Jatt Fanfic]

Chapter 2

Shattered : Matt
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As soon as I see Josh's face, my song idea is completely forgotten.
He looks... broken.
That is the only word I can use to describe the look on his face, despite his attempt to hide it.
He tells me he's fine but averts his eyes, telling me all that I need to know.
"Josh? Look at me?" I plead, trying to get him to meet my gaze.
But once he does, I regret my decision immediately.
Tears start falling down his face, and I want to comfort him.
I want to tell him how I feel, but all I can do is to pull him into a hug.
I lie and tell him "it's okay", but I know he's not.
I know Josh needs me.
Josh apologizes, which is a tell tale sign that he has done something that he knows will hurt me.
Of course, it will hurt me more than he thinks.
"Josh. What happened?" I ask, even though I already have a feeling that I know what it is.
He doesn't say anything so I wrap my arms around his waist, hopefully showing him that I'm here for him no matter what. I will always be here for him as a friend, even though I wish we could be more.

When I put my arms around him, he flinches, making my breath hitch because I know one of my worst fears has come true.
Josh relapsed; and it broke my heart.
"Oh Josh. What did you do?"
"What did I not do?" He says distantly.
I swallow hard, I don't know what to say.
So I tell him the closest thing to my true feelings without flat out saying them
"I-", I pause, scared that he will see through me like I saw through him. "I don't want to lose you."
"I won't leave you my friend."
His words give me a sense of relief but break my heart at the same time.
I nod and pull him closer to me.
"I promise" he repeats.
Josh closes his eyes and I just hold him until he falls asleep, glad that he could let his emotions out and sleep, because I know that he probably hasn't slept well in days.
"Bye Josh, don't be so hard on yourself." I whisper in his ear as I unwrap my arms from his waist.
I walk out the door into the hallway of his apartment and close the door quietly.