Mirrors | Malum

43

"Are you alright?"

I patted the spot beside me on the deck and he instantly got the message that I wanted him to join me, despite it being nearly four in the morning.

"I'm great now that you're here."

"Couldn't sleep?" Michael asked again, that same small smile curving onto his face as though it were meant to be permanently engraved there. As though he wasn't meant to be sad, because I'm his key to happiness.

"No. I'm guessing you couldn't either?"

"Being in your arms helped, but no, not really."

Michael scooted closer towards me, and I admired the way his hair fell slightly in front of his face as the moon glistened in his eyes. You could see every star, every constellation, every galaxy and every planet in his green eyes, and it was something I couldn't explain as easily I could explain why I love him, but even that's hard. There's so many reasons to love Michael Gordon Clifford, and him taking time out of his sleeping schedule to join me is definitely one of them.

"Sometimes, I wish I could have this forever," Michael mumbled as he gazed out at the world around us, his fingers messily tangling between mine as an attempt to calm me down. It worked.

"Have what?"

"Not having to hide away from people because we're alone and nobody can judge us for it. I wish I could be here forever, with you."

"What are you saying?"

"I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Calum, here, with you, forever."

"I-"

"You don't have to say anything beautiful," Michael mumbled quietly as he rested his head against my shoulder, "being with you is enough."

-

It was morning now, and I knew it'd be smart to return home and explain to my parents that I decided to go on a walk and ended up getting lost. But knowing them, they probably wouldn't believe me and Mali would outsmart me by telling them I was out with Michael because she knows I can't stay away, no matter how hard I try.

But I didn't want to leave.

I wanted to be in his arms for eternity, just feeling his warmth radiating into the air and landing back on me and it was comforting. It was more comforting than drawing in my journal to get rid of the demons, more comforting than my favorite torn up hoodie that needs to be thrown away, more comforting than that steaming cup of peppermint tea that I used to drink on a daily basis to calm my nerves. Michael Clifford is more comforting than life itself and I love him for it. I love him with every breath, every touch, every word, every action, every step, every movement, ever gesture, every kiss, everything.

"You know, you never fully explained to me why you were afraid of mirrors," Michael stated as he flipped through his phone and smiled down at the picture of us. He then showed it to me and I had to admit, it really was beautiful. I felt genuinely happy that day, even though I was trying to hide it. And the flower crown really stood out on the two of us, which made the moment even more beautiful than we had originally thought it was.

"I uh - it's complicated."

"You don't have to tell me, Calum. I understand that you were bullied and I hate whoever treated you that way because you really don't deserve it. You deserve every great thing life has to offer and I hope you don't get stuck in a situation like that, again. Because god babe, you mean so damn much to me and I would kill to see you smiling all the time."