Well, I'll Be Damned

CHAPTER ONE: Doufuses One and Two Impress Jenn

Jenn turned the corner, slowing slightly to enter the nearest store, which happened to be a Ghiradelli Ice Cream Shop. She sighed as she cut her way to the front of the line, earning glares from the flock of female customers, probably in line to talk to the pretty boy behind the counter for a mere twenty seconds. Whatever, the whole scene was pathetic anyways... She glanced up at the hot cashier, giving him a sly once over before turning to the menu to order. He just smirked at her, knowingly.

"One 'The Cable Car' Rocky Road Sundae, please, with dual scoops of chocolate chip ice cream in replacement for the godforsaken chocolate ice cream. Oh, and add half an ounce of fudge, half an ounce of white chocolate, two halved cherries with no stems, a fourth of a thinly sliced banana, an even, millimeter layer of peanuts, peanut butter chips, whipped cream, and caramel. I'd like the caramel on the side. Please."

Ha, diet be damned. Jenn's pleasant smile widened when Pretty Boy's once cocky grin faltered as he struggled to keep up with her order. He handed her the icecream, keeping his eyes steady on her other worldly chest. Jenn rolled her eyes and coughed loud and obnoxiously. Well, as obnoxiously as someone like Jenn could ever get. Pretty Boy glanced up only to see Jenn take a miniscule bite of the ice cream and dump the rest in the nearest trash can, purposely missing the trash. His jaw dropped.

Satisfied that she had both lost her tail and put cocky-idiotic-pretty-boy in his place, Jenn strolled out of the ice cream shop, stiffling a laugh. Sure, she felt horrible for waisting the perfectly good ice cream when there were starving African children, but... what the hell. It was fun. Jenn had nearly forgotten about her altered appearance, until she passed the tinted glass and saw her pristine reflection. Standing before her was a meticulously dress, plump woman, clad in a gorgeous Versace suit. She looked to be about thirty. Jenn could hardly believe that thirty year old lady was her. She tugged on the handle bar, opeing the door and smiled at the security guard as she passed through the formidable security check point. He was cute. Yum. Wait, ew. Jenn resisted the urge to scrunch her nose up in disgust. Every time she entered the fucking CIA Headquarters in fucking Langley, Virginia, she was overwhelmed by the nauseating scent. Gross. Fucking gross. She had spent the past week playing hookie from school to scout the HQ, looking for the easiest point of entry. Shit. School. High school to be exact. How had she forgotten? Jenn had just missed the entire first week of school. She didn't really care, but in order to keep a low profile, she would need to maintain straight As on all her damn APs.

Jenn Straughly (pronounced Ster-row-lee) was not a stupid girl. Quite the opposite, actually. She had graduated as Valedictorian for Stanford at the whopping age of fourteen. She had never actually started high school, nor had she finished it, prior to college though. That said, Jenn found herself reluctantly beginning school at the elite Horace Mann on the Upper East Side of New York. Though she hadn't exactly gone to school just yet, she could easily imagine what a stereotypical waste of time it would be. The thought never ceased to make her cringe.

Digressions aside, Jenn strolled into the bathroom that she knew all too well. Classic. Sneak into the CIA using a disguise and crawl through the ventilation system to get to your destination. But Jenn couldn't deny that the bathroom was her best option. She took off the Versace suit, taking a couple seconds to admire its unique cut. It was damn, fucking gorgeous really. She sighed as she folded the suit and placed it in a bag, along with the fat suit she had been wearing. Now clad in a full, black body suit, she smiled at her reflection. She was hot, but her body was hotter.

She heard the door knob rattle. Shit. Jenn shoved the bag under the large trashbag in the bathroom and quickly hoisted herself into the large ventilation system, which happened to be quite clean. Figures. She started to crawl westward, but a strong voice stopped her.