Trapped in the Afterlife

Chapter 12- First Routine, Last Terror

''But I'm fine with just you guys...'' the look he gave me was playful and stern. ''For now?'' I added to which he nodded.

He opened the passenger door to his jeep for me, throwing my bag onto the backseat before going around to the driver's side. ''Oh, by the way, everyone is going to be late for supper tonight so I thought we could eat out somewhere?'' Jay offered and started the jeep.

''Sure!'' I smiled and looked around for a moment. I knew the next question would be what I wanted to eat or where I wanted to go. They all had instructions from my doctors to push my developpment with my likes and opinions, and so most choices fell on me. ''I want chinese food.'' I finally told him.

He looked a bit surprised, probably that he hadn't had to ask – that I had willingly made a decision – but he smiled, nodded and left the parking lot.

Jay's laughter echoed around me as he watched me juggle my chop sticks. ''Are you sure you're going to manage to eat with those?'' he asked, laughing some more.

I glared at the sticks in my hand – sticks that were apparently meant to be used to eat but so far, I could only imagine the mess I would make once the meals got here. Jay was holding his chop sticks skillfully, moving them about to demonstrate how to use them. ''I'll manage something.'' I grumbled, trying to grab the ball of ripped napkin he'd made as practice targets.

''You know you can ask for a regular fork.'' he stated, putting his chopsticks down and reaching across the table to replace the sticks correctly in my hand for the tenth time.

''But I want to do this.'' I stated, looking at him directly.

Moments later our meals arrived and I was overwhelmed by the intoxicating smells coming from it all. The rolls were the easiest to eat; I used my fingers. The soup was easy-ish thanks to the oversized spoon. The meal itself... well, lets just say that eating face first in the plate would have taken less time and made less of a mess. However, I didn't give up and even though Jay finished long before me, he waited patiently for me to finish my meal.

I can easily say that I enjoyed myself for the duration of the evening. Conversation was light and easy even if I could spot the parts where Jay had to remind himself that I was still recovering and still searching. Time flew by, we continued on with a desert and then finally headed back home. Apparently, he didn't want to keep me away from my homework for too long.

The first few nights, the vaste field scared me. But I'd been visiting this field for the past months now. I'd written the dream in my journal; written it as a whole and with its variations. My shrink said that even if it scared me, I had to stick through the nightmare as she was sure it was just the way for one of my memories to present itself. So, as usual, I sucked in my fear and faced the events that I knew would come.

I wasn't alone in this field. A figure stood at the limit, where the grass met with the trees of the forest. It started towards me slowly but since it was a dream, it only took moments for it to be standing directly in front of me. I couldn't make out a shape to disginguish if this was animal or human. The black form was like an ever-swirling cloud of mist. Occasionally it seemed to take on a more human appearance just like it sometimes shifted into that of an animal. It was impossible to tell.

It watched me. I knew that it was watching me from the feeling I got, however as it was just swirling black mists, there were no eyes to 'watch' me with.

The mists shifted and this time it took on a fully human form. Parts of its' black mists changing color to represent skin, clothing or hair. Just as I was about to pin the color of the eyes, it lunged at me, plunging something through my chest.

I felt the black mists cut my flesh and muscle, break bones to surround and grip my lungs, strangling me from the inside. Blood flowed down my chest from the wound, flowing red at first but the stronger the mist tightened its' hold on my lungs, the darker my blood ran until it was just black.

I couldn't breathe but this body didn't need to breathe. This body wasn't mine. It wasn't Emma's. It wasn't even Jane-Doe34054's. I didn't struggle to breathe. I didn't scream or cry. I just stared at the shape that had by now resumed its completely black mist form, forgetting the fake human shape it was supposed to wear.

You'll never be freed from me.

There was no voice. Simply words, or thoughts, whispered directly into my mind.

I'm not me. Was my body's reply. As the words drifted over the field, I felt my body turn into a black mist itself.

This time I did scream because the transformation hurt more than anything I had yet felt. With that scream, the dream was ripped away from me. I sat up straight in bed, sweating and my throat sore from the scream. I may have had the dreams for months, but it had been a few weeks since it had come. There was also the fact that no matter how often I had the dream, it always chilled me to the bone. What memories had I lost for my mind to bring such horrors into my nights?